Sunday night Mental Chex Mix

• What separates mankind from other mammals is the ability to make, distribute, and appreciate ice cream.  Chimps can eat, drive cars, murder, etc, but they don't make ice cream.  Savages.
• Speaking of which, I appreciate Cherry Garcia–the Ben & Jerry flavor named after the dead Grateful Dead genius–FAR more than I ever liked the Dead's music.
• I realized something: man is really the only mammal that scares me, even though I wouldn't really want a bunch of bats or bears or giraffes living in my house.
• Actually, there was one non-human mammal who scared the hell out of me once (not counting Dick Cheney, of course).  Way back in my mosquito control tech days, I walked out of one swamp, and there was a giant bobcat standing maybe 30 yards from my truck.  He didn't look especially scared of me.
• Oh, and there was one other incident in that same swamp.  I was walking into the trees, and there was a horrible rustling in the underbrush.  I was convinced it was either an anaconda or that bobcat ready to attack.  Turns out, it was a baby armadillo.  It was cute, once my heart started beating again.
• I was in a rowboat once when an alligator swam underneath the boat, rocking it.  I 'bout shit.
• OH! And along that same lake, a Florida Cottonmouth slithered over my right foot.  I was so freaked out that I beat it to death with my three iron.
• One of the most fascinating examples of nature's cruel beauty was that alligator–we named it Izod, for obvious reasons–eating a bird one afternoon.  I saw Izod gliding slowly toward a pair of egrets, who were wading in the shallows.  Then I saw Izod descend silently.  About every four feet, one small bubble rose to the surface as he neared the shore.  Then, there was an explosion of awesome violence as Izod popped out of the water, grabbed one of the egrets in one giant bite, then a brief splashing frenzy, and then nothingness.  Just a few orphaned feathers where that egret had been standing. 
• I will not mess with alligators to this day. 
• I've been watching "Bones" on hulu.com.  I love the show, because it combines mysteries, beautiful women, science geek stuff, and some really funny interplay between Zooey Deschanel's big sister and the guy formerly known as Angel (ref: Emily Deschanel and David Boreanaz). 
• R.I.P. Yankee Stadium.  I'm sorry I never made it to see you.
• Zooey Deschanel has the most beautiful blue eyes, so much so that I named my blue Fender Stratocaster after her.  Sadly, I sold Zooey, because her neck was too small.  She was purty, though.
• It seems sadly ironic that this government will spend countless billions of dollars to bail out poorly run banks and mortgage companies, but they wouldn't do shit to help me pay my rent if I ran short.  The salaries and bonuses the banks' CEO's had could pay off dozens of typical American homes' mortgages. 
• I think it would only be fitting if the top executives of the bailed-out companies were evicted from their homes, and forced to live on the streets with their families. 
• In winter.
• With Salvation Army clothes–no Gore-Tex LL Bean parkas and duck boots.
• I'm sad that David Foster Wallace committed suicide.  He was a great writer, based on the limited amount I've read, and he seemed like somebody I know well, maybe a little like me.  Check out his account of John McCain's 2000 campaign, written for Rolling Stone.  Thanks, Mariser, for the link.
• It saddens me when somebody vibrant and creative commits suicide, especially when it's someone whose work I admire.  I'm thinking of Bradley Delp and RIchard Jeni, at the moment.  I know the Abyss can suck the life out of you–I hate it too–but I can't wrap my head around ending it.
• Although, one of the interesting dualities of my bad hospital winter, where I came reeeeeeally close to having my ticket punched, is that I no longer fear death at all.
• The other duality is that I really appreciate life.
• And ice cream.
• Have a great week.

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