Sunday night Mental Chex Mix

  • What separates mankind from other mammals is the ability to make, distribute, and appreciate ice cream.  Chimps can eat, drive cars, murder, etc, but they don't make ice cream.  Savages.
  • Speaking of which, I appreciate Cherry Garcia–the Ben & Jerry flavor named after the dead Grateful Dead genius–FAR more than I ever liked the Dead's music.
  • I realized something: man is really the only mammal that scares me, even though I wouldn't really want a bunch of bats or bears or giraffes living in my house.
  • Actually, there was one non-human mammal who scared the hell out of me once (not counting Dick Cheney, of course).  Way back in my mosquito control tech days, I walked out of one swamp, and there was a giant bobcat standing maybe 30 yards from my truck.  He didn't look especially scared of me.
  • Oh, and there was one other incident in that same swamp.  I was walking into the trees, and there was a horrible rustling in the underbrush.  I was convinced it was either an anaconda or that bobcat ready to attack.  Turns out, it was a baby armadillo.  It was cute, once my heart started beating again.
  • I was in a rowboat once when an alligator swam underneath the boat, rocking it.  I 'bout shit.
  • OH! And along that same lake, a Florida Cottonmouth slithered over my right foot.  I was so freaked out that I beat it to death with my three iron.
  • One of the most fascinating examples of nature's cruel beauty was that alligator–we named it Izod, for obvious reasons–eating a bird one afternoon.  I saw Izod gliding slowly toward a pair of egrets, who were wading in the shallows.  Then I saw Izod descend silently.  About every four feet, one small bubble rose to the surface as he neared the shore.  Then, there was an explosion of awesome violence as Izod popped out of the water, grabbed one of the egrets in one giant bite, then a brief splashing frenzy, and then nothingness.  Just a few orphaned feathers where that egret had been standing. 
  • I will not mess with alligators to this day. 
  • I've been watching "Bones" on  I love the show, because it combines mysteries, beautiful women, science geek stuff, and some really funny interplay between Zooey Deschanel's big sister and the guy formerly known as Angel (ref: Emily Deschanel and David Boreanaz). 
  • R.I.P. Yankee Stadium.  I'm sorry I never made it to see you.
  • Zooey Deschanel has the most beautiful blue eyes, so much so that I named my blue Fender Stratocaster after her.  Sadly, I sold Zooey, because her neck was too small.  She was purty, though.
  • It seems sadly ironic that this government will spend countless billions of dollars to bail out poorly run banks and mortgage companies, but they wouldn't do shit to help me pay my rent if I ran short.  The salaries and bonuses the banks' CEO's had could pay off dozens of typical American homes' mortgages. 
  • I think it would only be fitting if the top executives of the bailed-out companies were evicted from their homes, and forced to live on the streets with their families. 
  • In winter.
  • With Salvation Army clothes–no Gore-Tex LL Bean parkas and duck boots.
  • I'm sad that David Foster Wallace committed suicide.  He was a great writer, based on the limited amount I've read, and he seemed like somebody I know well, maybe a little like me.  Check out his account of John McCain's 2000 campaign, written for Rolling Stone.  Thanks, Mariser, for the link.
  • It saddens me when somebody vibrant and creative commits suicide, especially when it's someone whose work I admire.  I'm thinking of Bradley Delp and RIchard Jeni, at the moment.  I know the Abyss can suck the life out of you–I hate it too–but I can't wrap my head around ending it.
  • Although, one of the interesting dualities of my bad hospital winter, where I came reeeeeeally close to having my ticket punched, is that I no longer fear death at all.
  • The other duality is that I really appreciate life.
  • And ice cream.
  • Have a great week.

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13 Responses to “Sunday night Mental Chex Mix”

  1. I confess I get a kick out of watching crocs devour their prey. It's gruesome and frightening, but still beautiful. Sorta like a horror ballet.

  2. very nicely written. totally true regrding the credit crisis – although i think the whole world (for once) has to thank the US government for doing that, because it impacts the Australian economy too…I hope there are rules regarding bonuses for these CEOs are introduced after this.Love the intro about ice cream. kicking myself cos Aus doesn't have ben and jerrys…

  3. 'I'bout shit' …… that made me snort my drink through my nose! And picturing you squealing like a girl and battering that creature to death..also making me snigger. A lot.I guess my brothers on-going brush with death has turned my life around. I REALLY appreciate my life now. I found some old suicide notes that i wrote, I feel sick with fear at the thought think it could have worked and god, it should have.

  4. • I used to have a dog named Zoey. She was named after the Sesame Street character. I had to leave her behind in Ohio. :(• What's a cottonmouth. Is that an alligator? • DFW's death was very sad indeed. 😦 McSweeney's has a memorial wall to sign if you like. • I agree on the Cherry Garcia….

  5. I found some old suicide notes that i wrote, I feel sick with fear at the thought now.. (hugs for Kelly)

  6. Sorry you snorted through your nose, but I take it as a compliment. :-)A shrink once described suicide as a "permanent solution to temporary problems." Problems go away in time. I'm glad you didn't. Nos da cariad.

  7. A cottonmouth is the Florida version of a water moccasin, a poisonous pit viper type snake. I'm with Indiana Jones on snakes–not a big fan. B&J's also has a tasty Strawberry Cheesecake flavor I like. Still, down here we have Blue Bell, whose Southern Blackberry Cobbler and Key Lime Pie flavors trump anything. Too bad the 7-Eleven doesn't stock them, that being my only ice cream distributor at 0130 when I get off work. I'm sorry about Z. :-((hugs)

  8. Now a horror ballet would be one I'd attend. 😉 A whore ballet would be interesting as well, come to think of it.

  9. It's like little kids playing: it's all good and fun till somebody cries. The whole house of cards thing was awesome when the economy was booming. Now, in retrospect, maybe they should've reined it in a bit. The only redeeming thing, ironically, is that I don't really have anything left to lose. I had to spend all my retirement savings to live the last couple years after I got laid off. I own my truck outright, and I rent my apartment. My job is pretty recession-proof, so I can't really be foreclosed upon, etc. It's just sad to me that these ginormous banks, et al, are getting bailouts, while the same banks would foreclose on you or me in a heartbeat if we encountered difficulty. I'd send you some Ben & Jerry's, but Australia being only a few miles closer than Mars from here, I'm afraid it would melt. 😉

  10. so, bones is worth watching, huh? maybe i need to start… although, i'm watching so much tv, i think my brain is going to start oozing out of my ears or something. heh.

  11. But if your brain is going to ooze anyway, it may as well be for a good tv show, right? 😉 I like Bones. I started watching regularly while I was in the hospital, and then I was hooked. Now, I'm almost through the first season on, and also catching the new ones. The chemistry between the cast members is amazing, the dialogue funny and smart, and the cases interesting. Plus, Michaela Conlin puts the "yum" in Eurasian. Okay, it's not as good as "putting the grrrr in Grace," but it fits my needs. 😉

  12. haha! okay. i'll put it on my netflix queue. not sure when it'll finally come up to the top of the queue, but at least it'll be on there. 🙂

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