I Heart Buffy

I don’t know why, but I was thinking about Buffy today. You know, the eponymous heroine of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.”

What a shit job she has. Not only does she have to worry about high school, living with a single mom and (SURPRISE!!!) a sudden sister, but she has to go out every night, kill vampires, fight demons, and date boys. She didn’t ask for this. It’s not like she went and applied for the job, like one would do at Wendy’s or something, and she doesn’t get paid. Plus, she gets the crap kicked out of her every night.

Her friends are helpful, when they can be, and Willow is as cute as a bug. But it’s always Buffy who has to do the slaying.

She has Giles nagging her constantly, looking up stuff in books. “Well, Buffy, what you’ll need to do is climb inside this demon’s intestines, look for the emerald of JKS:LDFJDS, retrieve it,  then crawl your way out through the demon’s ass, at which point you may stab it with a trident.” Giles, of course, can’t do this, because demons are especially angered by tweed.

I was thinking about Buffy in part because I watch “Buffy” on hulu.com, at least till I can order the series on DVD.

The other reason is that I empathize with Buffy. Sadly, I’m not 17 and hot with mad vampire slaying skills. But she never asked for this job. She didn’t ask to be “The Slayer,” The One from her generation. (Although, there were others: the opening credits lied).

I didn’t ask to host the International Crazylimpics in my head. Granted, my head is big enough for the crowds, but I didn’t want this. I didn’t ask for this, and I would prefer not to have it.

However, I have friends and family who do their best to support me, even if they are occasionally scared shitless, and have no idea what I do or why I do it. Also, like Buffy, half the time, I’m just winging it, making it up as I go along.

My “Giles” is Dr Borgia. He’s the genius with all the books. He knows what’s going on, and he works his damnedest to tell me what weapon to use against what demon. It’s hit or miss, just like Buffy. Sometimes there is  trial and error. He put me on a med that he says has worked for all the patients he’s used it on, except one. Guess who’s numero dos?

For most of my life, I’ve had depression that was perfectly manageable: take a pill a day, and it’s gloomy-be-gone. I’ve had times where it was worse than others, but I fought my way through it–same as Buffy has some weeks where she’s more bruised and battered than others.

This time, I feel like I’m in The Hellmouth. It is indescribably unpleasant–“horrible” I reserve for patients with cancer, etc–and it’s proving to be an absolute bitch to fight. In the end, I’ll kick its ass…or it’ll suck me into hell forever to be torn apart by demons and monsters and shit.

I mean, in the end, I’ll kick its ass. And I’ll live to fight another day. And I’ll marry Tara and Willow

PS: Spike was cooler on his worst day than Angel was on his best.


6 Responses to “I Heart Buffy”

  1. You will kick it’s ass. Most definitely kick it’s writhing roaring ass.
    Until then, hold on! We’re sending all the power can!

    I thought that Tara/Willow pic was a two headed woman. Skeery!

  2. Buffy saw me through the worst season of my life. I kept thinking “Her life is shit, and yet every day she gets out of bed and fights, because she knows this is her calling. If she can do it, I can do it.” Weird though it sounds, it was like God sent me Buffy. Fictional though she is, she helped me make it through.

    • tomzone Says:

      Why did he send me Judgment at Nuremberg, Double Indemnity, and Endgame, a show apparently only you and I have ever seen?? 😉

      • Maybe it’s God’s way of telling you that you are smooth like Fred MacMurray or some other random noir actor? Or maybe blonde femme fatales should be avoided at all costs? hmmm. Trying to tell you to not eat pizza before bed? I don’t know. Thanks for your text yesterday btw. I missed it until much later.

  3. In the years since I’d watched it, I’d grown a little cynical of all the Buffy-love. Sure, it was great and all, but… — and then I started watching it here and there streaming. Man, does it deserve its accolades.

    Hang in there, my friend. We’ll do what we can to get you through this! Kick its ass! Unless of course, I run into Evil Willow, because then you are totally on your own. RAWR!!

  4. I kind of missed the boat with Buffy but do like what I have seen. So very clever!

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