Cuatro de Mayo Mental Chex Mix


*- That is Princess’ left wrist. Kindergarten can be quite dangerous, as can gravity.

*- The former explains why she was on the monkey bars. The latter is what led to her hasty reunion with the ground.

*- The doctors put her under and reset the break. Princess will be fine, thank God. 

*- Princess being Princess, she’s convinced that her nap was responsible, that she healed herself by her own powers.

*- If anyone could do that, it would be her.

*- My doctor has given me a new med to combat stabbyfeet med-coma. 

*- On their website, it mentions a possible side effect: “Sensing things that are not really there.”

*- How will I know? If I sense it, I’m likely going to believe it’s really there.

*- Further, in the medication guide that came with my pretty new pills, I was advised to contact my doctor if taken with, “an exaggerated sense of well-being.”

*- Now why the hell would I want to do that???

*- I wish I could control these side-effects, to use them as mental BLOCK buttons.

*- First to go? The tank-top and flip-flop guys.

*- Seriously, y’all.  If you are A) a male older than 9, and B) anywhere other than home, the beach, or playing basketball, lose the tank-top.

*- Flip-flops? Pretty much the same, except for the basketball playing.

*- Here on my sandbar, when the weather first gets hot, the flip-flop-tank-top guys crawl out from their thatched undergrowth lairs, and walk the sidewalks between 7-Elevens. They never rest, wandering to and fro until November, when cool weather drives their leathery carcasses back underground.

*- It kind of scares me that my first thought upon seeing Princess’ x-ray was, “Good Lord, she broke the crap out of her left radius.”

*- Once upon a time, my life’s mission was to be an orthopedic surgeon.

*- I found that I had more of a love for reading and writing than I did for medicine, so I took a different path.

*- Otherwise, I might have been the orthopedic surgeon on call Monday night at Bayfront. I’d have seen the x-ray, ordered the anæsthesia, and reset the left arm of a feisty little girl I’d never met.

*- Life is full of odd little twists like that, little nodes where our potential life paths intersect. I am not an orthopedic surgeon. I knew how to read that x-ray, because 30 years ago, I broke the crap out of my right wrist, and everything on my x-ray was reversed from P’s.

*- I went on to break my left wrist and tear ligaments in my ankle before high school ended.

*- My brother went a little crazy being competitive. He blew out his rotator cuff and tore his ACL, both requiring surgery. So I chose to have Fournier’s Gangrene and almost die. He responded by having a massive back operation, but the wuss never almost died.

*- Nice try, little brother. 😉

*- I’m kidding, of course. It was never a competition.

*- We humans love competition. I’m probably the least competitive person on earth. I have an ego about certain things, of course, but that’s different.

*- I’ve been thinking about that after the events of this weekend. We started with the Royal Wedding®, had a million people attend a ceremony beatifying John Paul II, then Sunday, US troops killed Osama bin Laden.

*- I like Prince William, and Kate seems to be a good match for him. Like most people, I liked Princess Diana. I watched her wedding, and I watched her funeral: sad bookends at 4am.

*- I kind of like JP2 as well. I disagreed with some of his opinions, but I think he was a great guy.

*- I think Osama bin Laden was an evil shithead, and I’m not the least bit sad that a Navy SEAL shot him in the left eye.

*- I am sad the way some people have reacted, though, all puffed-up and growly. “Hah! Showed you!” “Don’t mess with us!” 

*- I haven’t forgotten 9/11, nor have I forgiven bin Laden. But I’ve moved on with my life. The guy was a rich thug who killed in God’s name and never built anything.

*- Hitler was an evil shithead, too, but at least he built roads and buildings, and turned around a nation.  

*- If bin Laden’s death brings closure to the 9/11 victims’ families, I’m glad for them.  It’s their right to feel that way. But hundreds of thousands of people have died, and trillions of dollars have been spent to get that $2 bullet into that particular evil shithead’s left eye.  

*- We got him, but I hope the mindless whoopers remember one thing: this guy eluded the most powerful nation on earth for nearly a decade.

*- I think about all those people who lost loved ones during this pursuit, both the thousands of American military, and the ungodly number of civilians. We got the KO in the end, but if the whole thing got judged on points?

*- That’s not my call.  I’m not God. For all I know, God appoints Clarence Darrow and William Jennings Bryan to hash out these things (or Spencer Tracy and Frederic March, anyway). 

*- Life shouldn’t be a competition, and death certainly shouldn’t. We all come into this world, haul ourselves around through triumphs and failures, and then we die. Some live with a bit more panache, and some die with more dignity. It’s not a competition.

*- Which is good, because Princess’ fracture kicks my fracture’s ass.

*- Happy Wednesday.


10 Responses to “Cuatro de Mayo Mental Chex Mix”

  1. And all I broke was my pinkie finger. Oh, and almost broke my neck, but almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. It was kind of ironic that things overseas ended with Major Strasser, er, Osama being shot. Coincidence? I think not. Somewhere, Rick is pouring drinks and the show goes on.

    • Sadly, fractures don’t heal quite so easily when you get to our age, even if they made a Hello Kitty splint to fit my Hagridean wrist.

      And you’re right about Rick: one bad guy dead, yay, but people still need to get drunk and gamble.

  2. I am so glad the Princess will be fine! Ashlee broke her arm when she was six and once it was set the pain was gone, she paid no attention to it. The first time she got on a bike after the cast came off I thought my heart was going to fall out of my chest. Terrifying moment.
    But of my three wild things, she was the only one to break a bone, thank goodness.

    So many of the chanters/revelers that are so rowdy and hitting the streets are youngsters who have no idea of what they chant. The ones who experienced 9-11 know all that has been lost between then and now. And are much more somber.

  3. Oh, that’s a nasty lookin’ break!

    I’ve fractured both my wrists, but fractures aren’t nearly as dramatic as breaks. I’ve never had to get a bone set, either. That’s surprising, though, as I broke my leg in 3 places once. The x-ray reader didn’t see it and sent me home. My sister proceeded to play on my broken leg. It suuuuucked. Then the doctors called and said, “oh, there’s three breaks, bring her back in.”

    I had a large cast… it was kindergarten AND I had to miss a field trip to the petting zoo. 😦

  4. Poor Princess — actually I’m sure she’s cool with it, so my sympathy goes to The Queen (what else would one call the mom of Princess?).

    It was certainly an eventful weekend. I enjoyed the wedding, they seem to be a good couple, the hats were hilarious, and the music was beautiful. Nice weather! Pretty wedding! Dead bastard!

    Today is also Star Wars Day. It’s obvious when you think about it for a moment. And if you still don’t get it — May the Fourth be with you.

  5. I can’t find solid footing yet this week. But I’ve never broken any bones so that’s probably alright. When I do someday, I’m going to have a Spongebob cast.

  6. Happy… well it’s Thursday now, so happy Thursday Tom. 🙂

  7. I broke my leg in second grade…falling off the monkey bars. Those suckers are evil.

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