“Adieu, Casablanca”: Lent in Casablanca, Night 37

Ugarti says “Adieu Casablanca” when he’s explaining his scheme to Rick (If you recall, Ugarti ended up with the Letters of Transit. He was going to sell them to Laszlo for “More money than even (he) had ever dreamed of,” at which time he would leave Casablanca forever. (If you recall further, that didn’t quite happen))

Anyway, for this penultimate Lenten Casablanca post, I have decided to attempt the ABC’s of Casablanca. No, I won’t be using my annoying rhyming skills. Instead, I will present an attributed quote featuring each letter. Here we go (I have 90 minutes of work left. If I don’t finish? Hell with it! 😉 )

A: Angriff (Goebbels’ propaganda newspaper) “I shall report this to The Angriff!” (Angry, disrespected, German banker to Rick, after being refused admission)

B: Brandy (booze). “I thought you would ask me, so I brought the good brandy. And – a third glass!” (Carl to Herr und Frau Leuchtag)

C: Champagne (bubbly wine) “Oh no, Emil, please. A bottle of your best champagne, and put it on my bill.” (Louis to Emil)

D: Despise (strong dislike) Ugarte: You despise me, don’t you? Rick: If I gave you any thought I probably would.

E: Extravagant (with no regard for money or floozies) “Captain Renault (to Rick): How extravagant you are, throwing away women like that. Someday they may be scarce. You know, now I think I shall pay a call on Yvonne. Maybe get her on the rebound. Hmm?”

F: F*** (the F-bomb): (conspicuous by its absence, the F-word is nowhere near Casablanca)

G: Germans (people from Germany): Signor Ferrari: Might as well be frank, monsieur. It would take a miracle to get you out of Casablanca, and the Germans have outlawed miracles. (one of my favorite lines, and it’s Earth Day night, so recycling is good)

H: Honest (something the roulette wheel isn’t always at Rick’s): Customer: Are you sure this place is honest?
Carl: Honest? As honest as the day is long! (I should get bonus points for having three “honests” in one exchange)

I: Ilsa (Ilsa Lund, as played by Ingrid Bergman) Laszlo: “May I present Miss Ilsa Lund.” (I include this for one simple reason: somebody had reported this line to IMDB.com under Goofs, saying that Laszlo introduced Bergman’s character as “Mrs Zalant” the first time, then she was never called this again. Like Leo McGarry with the USA Today puzzles editor, I contacted IMDB.com, pointing out that Henreid (a native Austrian) would pronounce Ilsa’s name correctly, “Miss Ilza Lunt.” Bless them, they corrected it forthwith, thus forever cementing my place in Casablanca film history)

J: Joints (Saloons) Rick: Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine. (One of my favorite lines)

K: Kid (doll, sugarbooger) Rick (to Ilsa): Here’s looking at you, kid. (“Here’s looking at you, kid.” was voted as the #1 of “The 100 Greatest Movie Lines” by Premiere in 2007.)

L: Least (less than lesser): Rick: And remember, this gun is pointed right at your heart.
Captain Renault: That is my *least* vulnerable spot. (sorry, another favorite)

M: Marseillaise, La (updated title of “Chant de guerre pour l’Armée du Rhin” (as much as it’s instinct for me to make a joke about “Chant de guerre pour l’Armée du Rhin” translating to something involving cheese and Grey Poupon, I can’t diss another country’s National Anthem)) Victor Laszlo: Play “La Marseillaise.”… Play it!

N: Nobody (people for whom Rick sticks out his neck): Rick: I stick my neck out for nobody! (told you)

O: Out (a place where ones guts get kicked (see also, “cop out,” a cheap way for me to work-in my favorite image): Rick: Well, I did. Every one of ’em. Mostly I remember the last one. The wild finish. A guy standing on a station platform in the rain with a comical look in his face because his insides have been kicked out.

P: Paris (European city where “La Marseillaise” would be sung): Major Strasser: Are you one of those people who cannot imagine the Germans in their beloved Paris?
Rick: It’s not particularly my beloved Paris. (Um, also, “We’ll always have Paris” is pretty well known)

Q: Questions (interrogative phrases to pry into other people’s business): Rick: I’m sorry for asking. I forgot we said “no questions“.
Ilsa: Well, only one answer can take care of all our questions.

R: Rhein (Rhine) (a river over which there was a Wacht Am (not to be confused with the Rhone or Mississippi): Zum Rhein, zum Rhein, zum deutschen Rhein. (I put this in, only because I find it interesting that the Germans sang “Die Wacht Am Rhein,” only to be sung down by the French singing their national anthem, the original title of which translates to “War Song for the Army of the Rhine”)

S: Salesmanship (something of which mentioning Paris is a poor example): Rick: [to Ilsa] I wouldn’t bring up Paris if I were you, it’s poor salesmanship.

T: Transit, letters of (completely fabricated plot device): Rick: (to Laszlo) What you didn’t know was that she was at my place last night when you were. She came there for the letters of transit. Isn’t that true, Ilsa?
Ilsa: Yes.
Rick: She tried everything to get them and nothing worked, not even the schoolgirl uniform.

U: Usual (Type of suspect): Captain Renault: Major Strasser has been shot. Round up the usual suspects.

V: Vichy (Type of soisse (sorry, French collaborateurist government (ant: Free French))): Rick: Louis? Are you pro-Vichy or Free French?

W: Waters (commodity whose presence in the desert is a subject of misinformation (see also, cheap reason to get another of my favorite lines in)): Captain Renault: What in heaven’s name brought you to Casablanca?
Rick: My health. I came to Casablanca for the waters.
Captain Renault: The waters? What waters? We’re in the desert.
Rick: I was misinformed

X: Xanax (alprazolam, an anti-anxiety medicine): Captain Renault: We are very honored tonight, Rick. Major Strasser is one of the reasons the Third Reich enjoys the reputation it has today.
Major Heinrich Strasser: You repeat *Third* Reich as though you expected there to be others!
Annie the Soapmaker: Oh Hitler’s lonely little ball. Don’t you Nazitards ever stop whining? Unknot your “panties, little girl, pop a Xanax, and chill the hell out.

Y: You (pronoun (see also, really cheap way to work in another favorite line, since I’ve already used B and H)):
Rick: Ilsa, I’m no good at being noble, but it doesn’t take much to see that the problems of three little people don’t amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you‘ll understand that.

Z: (This quote has no “z” words, but it’s the best last line ever, so…)

Rick: Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.


2 Responses to ““Adieu, Casablanca”: Lent in Casablanca, Night 37”

  1. *satisfied sigh*


    Well done, Tom, well done!

  2. What Lauri said. 🙂

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