Non-Depressing Thursday Mental Chex Mix (fortified with PICTURES!)

  • I was having a bad tom morning.  The stabby-feet meds were making me really groggy.  I woke up, popped two Vivarin, and slept another half-hour.  Even then, it was excruciating trying to get moving.  My hair hurt, for crying out loud. 
  • Anyway, I managed to drag-ass down to the USS Nimitz, fire up the engine, and begin grousing my way to work.
  • The radio saved me today. 
  • My mood improved 2500% between my home and The Job.  First was Sly & the Family Stone, “Dance to the Music.” I love this song. It’s a dumb oldie, but by God, anything with a Hammond B-3 and a horn section makes me smile.  After that, the station played Jimmy Buffet’s “Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes.”
  • Ohhhh, yeah.
  • It’s not even that I especially like that song, but it reminded me of an interesting period in my life.
  • Back during the day, I used to frequent a little beer & wine pub called Gamble’s.  I’ve mentioned it a few times, once when I eulogized my buddy Tom B, who owned it.  Some nights, I’d go down there after work–maybe 5pm or so–then close the place down at 2am.  That’s a lot of beer.  By the end of the night, it was less intoxication than weariness that overtook us bar denizens.  Gamble’s’ jukebox had Jimmy Buffet’s Greatest Hits.  At some point, usually in the 1am hour, somebody would play “A Pirate Looks at 40” and/or “Why Don’t We Get Drunk (and Screw)”.  Both of these songs were just perfect for that dark, lonely, bloated time of the night.
  • The point wasn’t that I was thinking, “Gosh! I want to get sick-drunk on draft beer, and risk catching anthrax from some drunk bar skank as desperate as I am,” but “Thank the LORD, that’s not me anymore.”
  • By the time I got to work, I felt okay. 
  • Probably the Vivarin kicking in.
  • Anyway, my Canadian recruitment is underway. 
  • First off, my dear Vox friend, Arbed, sent me a beaver a couple years ago after the Boston Squee Party:

 

  • I was scolded into hiding my beaver in the workplace, but I can still play with my beaver when nobody’s watching.
  • Also, my friend Emily has been trying to recruit me into Canadianism by filling me with love for the Toronto Maple Leafs.  While I haven’t watched any actual Leafs games, I love following them vicariously through her Tweets (ie, “FUCK YEAH LEAFS!!!”).  I have learned to distrust any Habs fans (Habs=Montreal Canadiens), and even to fly my Leafs colors proudly:

  • Laurie from that self-same Toronto is threatening to come to Tom County to watch Spring Training Baseball. We’ll see if that happens.
  • All I know is that a country with a giant central bacon depository is a country I could love.
  • As long as it’s not cold.  😉
  • I feel bad sometimes that I don’t share a lot of my important life things.  Yeah, I’ve talked about almost dying a few times, and stuff, but I don’t share important things.  Like my desk art:

  • Yes, that’s a printed out Natalie Dee cartoon, with blue Mardi Gras beads.  The caption is “I’m not a malcontent, I’m just perfectly happy hating everything.”
  • OH! My Work Wife and Work Daughter:

  • Kristin the work daughter is on the left; Christina the work wife is on the right.
  • There’s inside joke comedy involved in the glasses they’re wearing.  Y’all won’t get it, but it’s hilarious.
  • OH! And Ashley and T-Bone!
  • First, though, I need to point out a couple things.  I turned Ashley on to the wonders of ERDA Studios Winter Relief Emergency Hand Cream.
  • These are Ashley’s hands now, framing the lovely, still baking T-Bone:

  • Before ERDA Studios Hand Cream? Basher’s hands looked like this:

  • Well, they were a little dryer.  And a little less “rock & roll hall-of-fame/Keef-like”
  • Basher does have beautiful hands, though, like a hand model.
  • By “Basher,” I mean “Ashley,” not 80’s Rockabilly Revivalist Nick Lowe.
  • Ashley is one of my favorite coworkers, and she needed a nickname.  I was going to use “Smashley,” but I had a Vox friend named Smashley.  Then, all of a sudden, it dawned on me to call her “Basher,” since A) it has the “Ash” like “Ashley, and B) Ashley is feisty.
  • Plus, Basher & T-Bone sounds like a rock radio morning show.
  • Oh.  I apologize if I replied to your comment twice on “I Can’t Handle the Truth.”  For some reason, WP had my replies listed as “spam.”
  • I love Spam, but I can’t imagine lower-case-spamming myself.
  • At least not at my desk (if I can’t even display my beaver!) 😉
  • Anyway, I hope you have a great weekend! I’m doing a bunch of overtime, but it’s okay, because A) the Oscars are on Sunday night; B) I’m no longer a depressing character from a Jimmy Buffet song, and C) the Leafs beat the Habs tonight.
  • FUCK YEAH LEAFS!!!!
  • (Pardon my language, but I’m studying for my Canadianism test)
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19 Responses to “Non-Depressing Thursday Mental Chex Mix (fortified with PICTURES!)”

  1. I’m so glad your mood took a swift upswing! (Upschwing?)

    It helped my mood this morning, too! 🙂
    Now I’m off to work in a snowstorm. Third one in a week! Boo! And whatever! 😉
    Have a great day, Tom!

  2. I can’t believe I’m going to be in Florida tomorrow as I’m watching snow come down here!

    I think it’s too funny that you’ve become a Leafs fan way down there. while I’m going down there to watch the Phillies play, because I don’t care for the Jays.

    • Laurie, it’s currently 5:32pm and 76 degrees. (Fahrenheit, not the 76 Kelvin you’re used to) Bring sunscreen. Shoot me an e-mail, and let me know how long you’ll be here, where you’ll be, etc. Have a safe flight. Leave your parka at home. 😉

  3. Hey, I know that beaver! I am, however, disappointed at your choice of Canadian hockey team (that Twitter was probably a typo that was supposed to say “FUCK THE LEAFS!). It will take a while, but I may be able to forgive you for it, although perhaps not forget. Oh, who am I kidding, with my memory, I’ll forget that there’s even anything to forgive.

    • My memory isn’t what it used to be either. My memory can’t even remember when it WAS what it used to be.

      Back in the (gasp) 90’s, I had a boss who was a Leafs fan. (He was from the Canadian province known as “Kansas,” you see) Once he gave me a Leafs coffee mug, just because he grew tired of my awesome Xanax coffee mug. The Leafs mug broke, sadly. But Emily is an enthusiastic Leafs fan, thus my indoctrination continues. (the Committee to Recruit New Canadians has apparently assigned my file to her)

      Yep. That’s your beaver in the pic. 😀 I still keep your beaver in my drawers, even if I’m discouraged from displaying your beaver openly. 😉

  4. Yea, Basher! Nick Lowe was one of my favorite songwriters/pop singers from the 80s. Basher & T-Bone also sounds like a Kevin Smith road trip movie. Silent Bob could make a cameo appearance.

    I hope you and Laurie get together for some tom-style partying. Don’t do anything that’ll scare the flamingos!

    • The flamingos are used to it. It’s the roseate spoonbills that get a little skittish. 😉

      I lol’d at the Kevin Smith comment. It totally does sound like a Kevin Smith pair. Jay & Silent Bob meet Basher and T-Bone. Fantastic. I’d buy the Criterion deluxe copy of that one.

      Have a great weekend, Professor Gozen.

    • And I love Rockpile, Basher, and Dave Edmunds. Stray Cats, all of that awesome rockabilly nouveau.

  5. I always have loved your words. xo

  6. The photos are a great peek into the Tom Zone. You certainly work with many attractive ladies.

    My beaver is proudly displayed on the fridge.

    • I am truly blessed with some lovely work-relatives. 😉

      The beaver jokes never ever get old. Eric Idle once said that for all the different sophistication levels of humor, the fart joke reigns supreme.

  7. My beaver is happily hanging out on the back door.

  8. THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME WHEN THE OSCARS ARE ON.

    I probably won’t watch, but I need to know when I can legitimately look for winner-news. 🙂

    Also, I love that Natalie Dee cartoon. I need that to hang by my bathroom mirror.

    • Whenever I need lots of grins, I visit Nataliedee.com and run through the archives. She’s teh ossm.

      Sunday night. I plan to be watching them, but there’s a whole lot of OT Sunday, so I might just work and follow it online. :-/

      Have a great Saturday, gumdrop. I hope you can sleep even past 8am.

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