After Breakfast, Off to Happily Ever After

Madame Teal beeped The Facility’s activity van unlocked. Ginger Sister climbed into the passenger seat; The Stranger and Lindsay got into the middle bench seat, and Kelly Vision made her way to the back, where Tabitha was curled up, apparently asleep.

“Tabby?” Kelly asked softly, as Madame Teal started the engine and pulled out of the Denny’s parking lot.

Tabitha looked up with tear tracks down her cheeks. 

“I was so scared back there.  When you and Ginger shot the Cheneymonster, and it was just paintballs. And we thought Tom Arnold was a bad guy.  And he had Lindsay, then Steve Hitler was there.”

“Steve Hitler?” Kelly asked.

“Yeah.. He was in my year at Minion School.”

“Just in the equivalent of Slytherin?”

Tabitha smiled.  “Yup.”

Kelly pulled her minion into a tender hug. “You don’t have to worry about me, Tabby.  I’m not going anywhere.”

“If anything happened to you…” Tabitha cried.

Kelly gently kissed her minion’s head.

“I’m going to have to resign, Ms Vision.”

“Why?”

“I’m just not cut out to be a minion,” she replied.  “I’m supposed to stop with minionly adoration and obedience, but…”

“But what?” Kelly looked down at her minion’s lovely brown eyes.  “Tabby?”

“But I love you, Kelly Vision.  I’m not satisfied just being—“

Kelly stopped Tabitha’s words with a kiss.  “You’re fired.” Kelly gently brushed the hair back from her former minion’s face.  “However, there’s another position that might interest you.”

In the middle seat, Lindsay was asleep with her head resting upon The Stranger’s shoulder.  He stared out the windshield, a mischievous smile on his face, but that’s just the mask.  Beneath the mask, he had a look that said, “Holy crap, there’s a hot, troubled, 20-something redhead asleep on my shoulder, and holding my hand.  And I’m no longer talking in rhymes, not since Babe Ruth smited the whining hippie, which was before he, Keith Richards, Elvis, and Bob Ross took Tom Arnold off to Valhalla with a Seraphim named Burt.”

A beep came from Madame Teal’s leather jacket.  She touched her Tealtooth Headset.

“Go…Okay…Great! Thanks Parsley.”

Ginger Sister looked over wearily.  “Everything okay?”

“Yep.  Parsley said my new minion arrived.  Mr Del Fuego lacked durability, so I had him removed.  When I get home, I’ll be test-driving Razhul.  Should be interesting.”

Ginger looked out the window.  She scratched Sam behind the ears, as he lay asleep in her lap. “And I’m minionless,” she lamented to herself.  “Poor sculpted Dmitri.  Who knew he’d be such a wuss?”

Sam opened one eye, and replied in Sinatra’s voice. “Hell, toots. I did.”

Ginger laughed ruefully.  “Well, thanks for telling me.”

Madame Teal signaled and turned into The Facility.  “We’re here. Kel, Ginger, Tabitha, Sam? You all say your goodbyes, then get into the Lamborghini.  I’ll take care of the memory modifications and meet you there.”

She parked next to the big Italian SUV.  “Let’s wrap this up.”

The team climbed out of the activity van.  Kelly walked up and hugged Lindsay.  “I’m so proud of you, honey.  Keep up the good work, keep getting better.  We love you!”

Lindsay hugged her back. “Love you too, Kel.”

Kelly hugged The Stranger, “Thank you for your help, whoever you are.”

Ginger handed Sam to Kelly, then hugged The Stranger as well.  “You helped save my best-friend’s life, and I’ll be forever grateful.”

The Stranger smiled for real beneath the mask. “It was a pleasure to meet you.  I hope this won’t be the last time.”

Ginger and Lindsay fell into a wet, sobby hug. 

“I love you so much, Linds.  Get better soon.”

“I will, Gingie.  Thanks for coming for me.”

“Always, honey.  You know that.”

Lindsay took The Stranger’s hand, and they walked through the broken glass of the French doors.  The Stranger stopped and looked out at the hovering Kzinti Mark Two Desert Cruiser.  Standing behind it was a small woman in a yellow shirt.  The woman was watching intently, and had intelligent eyes behind her glasses, like she knew exactly what had been happening the whole time, through all the madness.  The Stranger pulled out his keys and tossed them to the woman lurking in the shadows.  “Keep it,” he said.  The woman climbed into the Mark Two, fired up the core reactor, and drove off into the night without a word.

 Having finished her work inside, Madame Teal walked out.  She smacked The Stranger and Lindsay on the ass as she passed.  “You two keep each other safe.  Godspeed.”

Madame Teal climbed into the Lamborghini.  Kelly and Tabitha, her former minion, were entangled in the back seat.  Ginger sat in the passenger seat holding Sam, who had his paw over his eyes.  “I’m sorry about your minion.  I fried one’s brain before I came.” She blushed.  “I mean, before I apparated and appeared at the hangar.  You’ll find someone.”

Ginger smiled.

The Lamborghini SUV roared into the night, and quickly returned the team to their private hangar. 

“Everybody out,” Madame Teal commanded.  Sam bounded out to make another adorable mess on the tarmac.  Ginger stretched as she got out.  Kelly and Tabitha were blushy as they got out of the back seat. 

“It has been so nice working with you ladies again,” said Madame Teal.  She hugged Ginger Sister, then Kelly Vision, and then Tabitha.  Sam was still outside ensuring the crap minion’s job security.  “It was fun, Sam,” she called.  “See you soon! Parsley says hi.”

The Reverend Jim from Taxi replied, “Thank you Madame.  Uhhhh, tell Parsley I said hello.”

Madame Teal laughed, waved good-bye, turned on the spot, and was gone. 

Sam came back in, a pound or two of bacon lighter. 

“Well, girls? It’s been fun,” said Cary Grant.  “We managed to save Lindsay, temporarily get rid of Cheneymonster, and just generally kick-ass.  Plus, Elvis paid for breakfast.  I can’t wait to get home.  I have a month’s worth of Criminal Minds and Lie to Me on the lair’s DVR.”  He looked at Kelly Vision and Tabitha, blushingly holding hands.  “It looks like I’ll finally be left alone to watch my shows in peace.”

“SAM!” said Kelly.

Ginger Sister’s face was a difficult emotions combo platter: happy for Kelly finding love, relieved that Lindsay is safe, sad that Dmitri turned out to be made of well-sculpted wussiness. 

Kelly sensed her friend’s pain, came up and hugged her.  “I’m sorry, Gingie.  Let’s go home.  You’ll find someone.  I promise.”  Ginger smiled, and started up the Vision Jet stairway.  “But when,” she asked herself.

 She was almost to the top, when there came a rumble from the hangar below.  There was a loud pop, and a sudden influx of mist surrounding a blue box.  The door to the box opened, and an odd man peered out.

“THERE you are, Ginger Sister,” said the man in a slightly Scottish UK accent.  “I’ve been looking for you everywhere and everywhen.  Let’s go, already! We have missions to accomplish, but for tonight, there’s a jacuzzi and champagne!!”

Ginger looked at the man in the blue box.  She smiled, turned around, smacked Tabitha and Kelly on the ass, and laughed.  “Later, my lovely bitches!”  She bounded down the stairs, and headed off to happily ever after.

 

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19 Responses to “After Breakfast, Off to Happily Ever After”

  1. Wow, Tom. You did it. An amazing happy ever after. And the ending is remarkably like this fantasy I once had…..(digresses into Homer Simpson Drooling noise).

    OH Sorry.

    Ahem. Speaking of the Simpsons, as soon as we vanquished the Cheneymonster he turned up on the esteemed show, as Smithers needed someone to be a minion to. I suppose that’s how it goes. We ‘fire’ someone, then they get a contract with FOX.

    Thanks for the great run. I’m going to link it from my blog one of these days.

    Now you will have to excuse me while I go back into my imagination. There’s the universe, and a certain energetic Scot, that I need to explore.

    • Thanks, Gingie.

      If you remember, Tom Arnold said that Cheneymonster wasn’t dead forever. I can’t imagine he’d have foreseen the Simpsons wrinkle.

      Once again, thanks to you & Kel for being awesomely cool about the whole thing. If i’d typoed and made it David Cassidy instead of David Tennant, I suspect i’d hear from lawyers. 😉

      • I’m an ’80’s child. David Cassidy might have passed muster, after all, I stuck with LiLo through all the drug and alcohol mishaps. David Caruso on the other hand, well Dewey, Cheetum, and Howe would have been smacking your ass, and not in a good way.

  2. Yay! I love happy endings!

    The Stranger must be quite smitten with Linds to give up the Mark II.

    And soon the ass-smacking will spread across space and time.

  3. Bonus points for “difficult emotions combo platter”.

    • I’d very much like to read a collection of Burt the Seraphim’s teachings and adventures. I’m sure he has some great wisdom, and some pretty great anecdotes. (And “difficult emotions combo platter” was for you–it seemed like one you’d like 😉 )

  4. (also, my shirt is orange)

    *hovers away*

    *hopes it’s street-legal*

    • My apologies. It looked yellow in the floodlights outside the Facility’s meeting room. 😉

      I was pleased to see The Stranger’s devotion to L. I think he felt all the love focused on her, and wanted to help her and protect her. Also, Orson Welles charged him with her protection, so maybe he’s just covering his ass. I’m inclined to agree with you, that he’s just smitten. “Godspeed,” as Mme Teal said.

      As far as the Mark II being street legal, I’m sure it’s just as legal as any other plutonium and Spam jelly powered, Lego constructed hover cruiser. 😉 just promise me you’ll destroy some of these little punks in their little racecars.

      Thank you for stopping by, no matter how thick the stupid got. I’m sure I’ll miss these people and their very odd world. Happy Tuesday.

      • Racecar punks and people who think they have the biggest SUV/pickup truck so they own the road. Also, as Burt the seraphim taught us, people who illegally park in handicapped spaces.

        *whirs away*

    • My apologies. It looked yellow in the floodlights outside the Facility’s meeting room. 😉

      I was pleased to see The Stranger’s devotion to L. I think he felt all the love focused on her, and wanted to help her and protect her. Also, Orson Welles charged him with her protection, so maybe he’s just covering his ass. I’m inclined to agree with you, that he’s just smitten. “Godspeed,” as Mme Teal said.

      As far as the Mark II being street legal, I’m sure it’s just as legal as any other plutonium and Spam jelly powered, Lego constructed hover cruiser. 😉 just promise me you’ll destroy some of these little punks in their little racecars.

      Thank you for stopping by, no matter how thick the stupid got. I’m sure I’ll miss these people and their very odd world. Happy Tuesday.

    • Every time I hear something of LiLo, I think of Ginger,and now Brussels Sprouts and Lego Cruisers.

      This is the type of thing that will cause me to be indicted somewhere. 😀 Enjoy your Mark II

  5. Well, this left me with the warm fuzzies. =)

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