When I worked at golf courses, a hacker was a crappy golfer, who just “hacked” at the ball.

My e-mail got hacked. It seems odd to call these people by the same name we referred to bad golfers, but times change, as does our vocabulary.  Anyway, people are getting e-mails from me. These e-mails contain links.  If you get one, please just delete it.

Many of my friends have had the same thing happen.  I remember just thinking, “well this is inconvenient.” Remember “War Games”? Matthew Broderick hacked into a computer, and launched a ginormous war thing that could have killed the entire planet.

The limp-dicks have made some boring guy’s e-mail send dumb links to people too smart to click on them.  Really. One of the links my friend’s hacked e-mail sent was for a link to buy discounted prescription drugs. First off, I love my friend, but I wouldn’t buy prescriptions from any online pharmacy she recommended.  Second, the DevilBitch was a pharmacist, so I’m leery of a soul-endangering trap anytime pharmacists are involved.

Seriously, I only go to one pharmacy. It has a drive-thru, so I never have to leave the USS Nimitz.  Also, once I escaped from the DevilBitch, I spent a huge amount of time and money, both researching and paying shamans, rogue priests, and black magicians to install protections on my pharmacy.  It was complicated and expensive, but my soul is worth it.

And numbnuts hackers? I wrote that paragraph on my phone in about 2 minutes.  Your code skills are mad, I’m sure, but you should really use them more creatively.  I mean, sending dumb links to my e-mail list? My friends know where to get all the meds and porn and counterfeit Rolexes and magic dick grower they need.  All you did was cause a couple seconds of inconvenience.  Write a book.  Read a book.  Smack someone on the ass, or get your own ass smacked.  Maybe even–gasp–talk to a real-life, in-the-flesh GIRL!

In the meantime, friends, if you get an e-mail from me, it’s most-likely spam. Delete it with my apologies. And have a great Monday.

Posted from WordPress for the DorkFone 9500 XLT


7 Responses to “Hackers!”

  1. No worries! 🙂

  2. Hey, who can’t use an extra source for porn? No worries here, too, I deleted the one I got.

  3. One of my former students had her email hacked, so I was receiving similar emails from her for some grow-a-penis website. I emailed her back with a “Were you aware…?” but she never responded: so I finally took her addy off my contacts list and blocked her.

    Happily that hasn’t been the case here. Have a good week, tom!

  4. I know a couple of different people that this has happened to. I knew when I got their emails that something was up because of the link, that lack of any other conversation in the email and/or extremely poor grammar and spelling in the small amount of conversation that was added. It turned out that both of them were ‘game’ players on FB and had somehow gotten hacked thru something they had accepted or downloaded.

    I often tell my friends and family that I will not open any links on emails, that I have not specifically asked for, unless they make the effort to tell me what it is about and why they think I should look at it, because I do not want to risk getting hacked myself.

  5. Freedom Smith Says:

    They do this on facebook as well, and it drives everyone nuts. Then the person it happens to has to post a status saying not to open any inboxes from them. Sometimes the inbox will say that they saw your picture all over some sight. You go to that sight and they try to get your email and password. LOL. I knew better than to give it. But many people don’t. Too bad that people don’t have better things to do with their time!!!

  6. christinaheart Says:

    Nope nope. I got some strange link, but I didn’t click as I did not want e-herpes.

    It’s all good. I clicked delete & the internet gets to keep its e-herpes all to itself.

  7. I haven’t checked that email address yet, so I’m warned. Not that I’d have fallen for it; at most, it would have gotten you a return email of “WTF, Tom?” and a suggestion to check your security.

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