Election Night Mental Chex Mix

* I’ve been heartened to see the number of voting-related tweets and blogbursts my friends have launched into the Interwebs.
* Truly, I’ve never understood voter apathy. Granted, in many elections, it comes down to (paraphrasing the great Leo McGarry) “the choice between WHO CARES?”
* Still, I stood in line, showed my card, signed the rolls, and went to the machine.
* I’m sorry, but I like the old style machines. They were made of steel. You walked inside, and pulled this lever (CLLLUUUUNNK), which closed the curtain behind you.  There were rows and rows of little switches. You flipped the switch down below your candidate’s name, below your choice in the various referenda, below retaining or ousting your choice of Supreme Court Justices.  Nobody could see what you were doing, whether you rolled your eyes or threw up a little in your mouth, or if you had a cheat sheet, today’s paper, or even a list from the KGB.  You flicked your switches, then (CLLLUUUUNNK) pulled the lever, and reappeared into the world.
* I only got to vote in those machines once, back when I voted for Woodrow Wilson. Or Mike Dukakis (my friend Andy’s cousin).
* The little punchcard thingies are so flimsy, and the new touch screen machines remind me of an ATM.
* Maybe there’s truthiness in that.  It used to be tough to get cash.  You used to have to go to the bank and cash a check, and if you ran out of money on Saturday, you were doomed till Monday.
* Now, it’s like a video game. I go weeks without having even a nickel in my pocket. I use my swipeycard to pay for stuff.  Even the vending machines at work take swipeycards.
* I feel differently about the voting experience today, too.  I still do it every two years.  If I don’t, I don’t feel I have any right to complain.
* The irony of a big “pro-environment” candidate having thousands of tree-killing roadside signs doesn’t escape me.
* He didn’t get my vote.
* I always feel like I’m not so much voting in a political race, but selecting the lesser of two assholes.  “Well, Candidate A is pretty lame, but Candidate B is a complete asshole!”
* Hell, I ended up voting for “the lady who cheated in the debate” over “the guy who ran the Medicare-defrauding health care company,” if that says anything.
* What I’d give to have a Josiah Bartlet on the ballot!
* Hell, I’d vote for Hoynes, or Glenallen Walken, or Victor Sifuentes. 
* One of the greatest comfort foods for me is the pot pie. Winn-Dixie had them on sale 10 for $7.
* They’re nutritionally appalling, but they remind me of my childhood, a time of innocence, checkbooks, and Detroit Iron voting machines.
* But that’s how everybody feels as they get older.  Remember the “All in the Family” theme? “Mister we could use a man like Hoybert Hoover again.”
* The Republic will survive; my State, too, will survive, even if the rich bald guy wins.
* Either way, I think I’ll microwave a pot pie and watch The West Wing on dvd.

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17 Responses to “Election Night Mental Chex Mix”

  1. Once again, it all comes down to everyone voting for the best liar.

  2. Where are you up to in the West Wing? I am in season 6 and remembering the inner conflict I felt in the Santos/Vinnick tussle. Want Santos to win – like Vinnnick better. What to do? What to do? Just as well (a) I’m not a citizen and can’t vote and (b) these are fictional candidates in any event!!

    Bloody brilliant series.

    • I saw them all when they first aired, and it was always good quality. The first three seasons, though, just kill. I’m watching Season 2, which has 4 of their best eps ever.

      Sadly, your Aussomeness isn’t the only thing keeping you from voting for Santos. Aaron Sorkin show characters > real pols anydamnday.

  3. I would vote against “the guy who ran the Medicare-defrauding health care company,” 99.9% of the time. what a despicable thing to do.

    congrats on having Blondie as your junior senator

    • Yeah, I’m with you. I voted against him, but it doesn’t look like it will happen. The man spent $71 million of his own money on the campaign. If I had $71 million lying around, I think i’d find something better to do, like work part-time in a book store, fund soup kitchens, and have a pick-up truck with a Ferrari engine and a live band.

      Anyway, Mariser, you may be the first person to refer to Marco Rubio as “Blondie.” 😉

      • you caught me. technically I should call him “Blonde”, but is not as fun.
        I really really really need to go to bed. damn the NYT and its hypnotic election maps.

  4. I loved the CLUNK machines too. It made it all seem so much more important. Probably some parallel to be drawn there about the whole process.

    I have a t-shirt that says “Don’t blame me, I voted for Bartlet”.

    (hums West Wing theme)

  5. Glad to see you correctly spell Josiah Bartlet’s name 😀

    Maybe 1/2 the candidates I voted for are winning. I find it funny that the Missoulian (local paper) called our at-large U.S. House race for the Republican incumbent two hours ago. At the time, 548 of the state’s 793 precincts were reporting, and the incumbent was winning by 25 percent. Well, according to the Secretary of State’s website, 740 of 790 precincts have now reported, and only 198 votes separate the two candidates…I’m curious if a “Dewey defeats Truman” will occur.

    • Governor here was a romp, but now it’s down to like 1% difference. Pretty tight. Glad you participated in your first election, like when I voted forRutherford B. Hayes. 😉

  6. christinaheart Says:

    If I run for president and mandate free cupcakes for everyone…. will you vote for me?

    I think one of my candidates won… and it was the one I was least excited about.

    Ah well, I’m use to being in the minority here. In a couple years, we can undo whatever was done last night. 🙂

  7. This election cycle I was constantly reminded of the South Park Election episode where they basically said that every election was a choice between a ‘Giant Douche or a Turd Sandwich’. Thats how a lot of them felt in my neck of the woods. One of the big issues, on thousands of billboards were the republican challenger accusing the democratic incumbent of voting for “Federally funded abortion”. The interesting aspect of this was a) he’s a pro-life democrat, and b) he held out for a presidential decree that federal dollars wouldn’t fund it. I was so pissed. Regardless where you stand on the issue, the lying and subverting of the truth really drives me batty. I just wish candidates would quit playing the game, and just be real.

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