Quick Story About Balls (A six minute blog post)

Many moons ago, I worked for Clear Channel Radio.  I was the night guy on the Jazz Station, but we had five or six other stations in the same building.  One of them was 820 The Team, a Classical Music Station.

Okay, believe it or not, 820 The Team was actually a sports-talk station.

I knew most of the hosts, and the Program Director used me to voice various bumpers and liners for ballgames.  “Florida State University football is brought to you by Budweiser.  For all you do, this Bud’s for you.  And by Beef O’Brady’s.  For the best wings in town, make it Beef’s.”

It was easy to do, and I got to use the big fake announcer voice, which was a hoot.  Also, my dad listened to FSU football on the station. (We didn’t discuss that I also voiced University of Florida football on another AM in the building)

Anyway, one of the most brilliant promotional items I’ve ever seen was an 820 The Team urinal screen.  These were the standard, blue vinyl urinal screens, only they said, “820 The Team.  Tampa Bay’s Sports Station with BALLS.” 

Think about it–we weren’t likely to offend any women, because they were exclusively in urinals.

So after one Arbitron book came out, 820 beat the other sports station in the market quite handily.  I was drinking at Bennigan’s after my show, and there were a group of sales people from the other sports station.  They were lit. 

One of the reps came out of the bathroom CARRYING THE 820 The Team urinal screen!! REALLY???? You reached into the urinal and GRABBED this thing??

He brought it back to the bar, set it down, and he and the other drunk reps started hitting the screen and cursing at it. 

Tami the bartender put an end to it.  “You will take that filthy thing back where you got it.  Then you will clean off my bar.  Then you will pay your tab, tip me well, and go home. You are gross!” They complied.  Tami winked at me.

Anyway, I thought it was funny, and that this is the most gorgeous picture of Saturn evah.  Happy weekend.

7 Responses to “Quick Story About Balls (A six minute blog post)”

  1. Here I thought this would be some great scientific break through on bucky balls, not some radio station promo written on smurf ball sacks and tossed in the urinal. LOL

  2. Freedom Smith Says:

    LOL!! Wait, are you saying that the picture was in the toilet?? That is so funny. If not in the toilet, where was it? What a brilliant idea and so fun for you to see the other guys going crazy about it in the bar. ROFL!!

  3. OK, clue me in. (Please.) I have no idea what a urinal screen is.

    • Urinal screens are small mats of perforated, deodorizer-impregnated vinyl. They’re placed in the bottoms of urinals to catch cigarette butts and other guy detritus. Or maybe to keep the smell down. I’m not 100% sure as to their function, but they’re ubiquitous. And LT is right: urinal anything is gross. Dropping a new one in is fine. Removing one…not so much.

      • Ewww. Well, I did have to ask.

        I remember the first time I saw the inside of a men’s room and saw a urinal. I was about six years old and my father took me in for a pee, since my mother wasn’t with us that day. I thought they were like tiny showers or strangely-shaped sinks. Happily no one provided me with a demonstration of their use.

  4. A urinal anything is gross. Good for Tami.

    Did you see the link to neato astronomical pictures I had last week? Check it.

  5. It is a good marketing ploy, but yeah those guys were gross for handling it and for putting it on the bar, eww gross.

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