Saturday Mental Chex Mix (Live from Snotstock ’10)

  • I have a cold. 
  • It’s the middle of our Florida summer, 91 degrees outside, and invariably someone will tell me, “Summer colds are the worst!”
  • Do they say that about other diseases?
  • “Oh, poor thing! Summer sarcoidosis is the worst!” “Summer endometriosis is the WORST!”
  • Is there really a designated good season to be sick? I can’t recall ever saying, “What a lovely winter day! Know what I need? Fournier’s gangrene!”
  • One of the coolest bits of dialog in any movie is this: in Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love – they had 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock.  (Orson Welles in “The Third Man”)
  • Graham Greene wrote the screenplay, but Orson Wells came up with that memorable little nugget. 
  • “The Third Man” is an awesome film, one of my favorites, but to me, Orson Welles steals it when he’s on the screen.
  • Other otherwise-good films that are stolen by one actor? Alec Baldwin in “Glengarry Glen Ross.” Dennis Hopper in “Blue Velvet.” Ben Kingsley in “Sexy Beast.”
  • I’d also put Val Kilmer in “Tombstone” on there, but he was in a huge number of scenes.  I liked the film fine, but good Lord, was Kilmer a great Doc Holliday.
  • I’m not an actor, much less a good one, but I can see myself getting a copy of the “Tombstone” screenplay, and thinking, “Wha?? How the hell am I supposed to say `I’m your huckleberry,’ and `You’re a daisy if you do,’ and not sound like a complete goofball?”
  • Instead, it became celluloid awesomeness.
  • I recently acquired “Dead Like Me” on DVD. 
  • The series, if you’ve never seen it, is centered around an 18 year-old girl who is killed in a freak accident.  Instead of “moving on,” she’s assigned to a small squad of Grim Reapers, who are assigned “reaps,” and remove a body’s soul before their painful death.
  • Dead Like Me only lasted two seasons on Showtime, but the last episode was beautiful in its resolution.
  • When I got through the final episode, I went back and watched the Pilot again, while listening to the commentary track. 
  • Yes, I’m that nerd that listens to the director commentary, if it’s a film I truly like. 
  • For example: “Love, Actually”? Yes.  The commentary track, with the director, plus Hugh Grant, Bill Nighy, and the kid is spectacular and often very funny (eg, Hugh Grant keeps mocking Colin Firth’s acting ability)
  • “Talladega Nights”? Nope.  Couldn’t care less how or why things were done.  Amusing film, but I have no curiosity (except maybe how John C Reilly ended up in it)
  • In the commentary for “Hamlet 2,” the director paid a lovely compliment for Phoebe Strole, the megatalented Broadway musical actress who played a dorky high school girl: “And she can hit that note eleven ways to Sunday.  With a knife in her throat.”
  • It was a helluva note.
  • Due to the cold, I feel like I have an atmosphere, as if there is about a two inch thick layer of virus-laden sick-sweat vapor hovering above my skin.
  • After the chili cook-off the other night, my atmosphere would probably look like Neptune’s, which appears blue due to the methane content.
  • But it brings out the blue in my eyes. 😀
  • Sorry.
  • My favorite person today is Jenn the Dame, who brought me the “Zack & Miri Make a Porno” dvd earlier, then a large McDonald’s iced coffee a few minutes ago.
  • I hadn’t requested the beverage, so I asked her why she got it for me.  “I just love watching their heads explode when I order it.  They can’t fathom that you just want a cup with ice and coffee.  The girl fought to put cream, sugar, and some sort of flavor in it.  It was entertaining.”
  • God bless Jenn the Dame.
  • The picture at the top of this writhing ball of tormented electrons is my belly button, photographed with my new atmosphere. 🙂
  • One of the coolest things about being owned by a cat is that they can tell when I’m sick. 
  • Beyond that, they seem to be able to sense the severity of the malady. 
  • I reiterate: I have a cold.  Ana-Sofia Vargas lounged beside me while I slept, as opposed to lording it over all creation from her perch.
  • note: not “her perch” meaning a beloved fish woobie, but “her perch” meaning a carpet covered throne-type platform thing.
  • When I had the Fournier’s a few years ago, she wouldn’t leave my side.  She seemed to know I was very, very ill.
  • Noted cat detractor Craig Ferguson would say, “She was waiting for you to kick, so that she could eat you.”
  • Ana-Sofia Vargas would never eat me, for I’m not made out of Meow Mix.
  • Wind wouldn’t hesitate.
  • And he farts so much, my already methane-rich atmosphere would be even bluer.
  • Fine with me.  After all, we’re supposed to recycle, right?  
  • Have a great Saturday. (and somebody bring me some NyQuil!) 🙂
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11 Responses to “Saturday Mental Chex Mix (Live from Snotstock ’10)”

  1. Poor you.
    It’s a nasty bug – I’m still coughing after ten days.

    Yes, cats are sensitive to sickness.
    The term around here is A Medicinal Cat.
    As in, you are feeling crappy, cuddled up on the couch, and someone will fetch you a hot tea and A Medicinal Cat.
    One of the few times the little beasts will stay where they are put.

  2. gundersonbee Says:

    1. Confession: I listened to all the commentary for all three extended versions of the LOTR trilogy. If you know me well, you know I’ve not the patience for these sorts of things, but i DID IT. I was completely fascinated.

    2. I just put the third man in my instant watch queue on Netflix. That quote sounds perfect for present day and I’m inspired to watch it now.

    3. As far as diseases are concerned, I’ve an entire family trying to convince me to get some sort of injections to help my bone disease. Apparently they are painful, cause a lot of side effects, and won’t make me taller. You’d think they could at least throw that in ferrchrissake.

    Feel better soon. Colds are the equalizer of the western world. Everyone is entitled to turn into a baby during a cold. Consider it a humanitarian protest of sorts, against the lack of progress in scientific research to get rid of the multitudes of convoluted cold viruses. Sounds good to me.

    • There are some films (“Pirate Radio,” eg) where the commentary track is more entertaining than the actual film.

      I hope you like “The Third Man.” It’s one of the rare films with a zither-based soundtrack. 🙂

      Hope you survive the 4 teenagers.

  3. It’s nice to see your Chex Mix continuing in the new blogspace.

    Hope you feel better soon!

  4. TOM!!!!

    I didn’t know your new address till now, but luckily Gunderson had a link.

    I’d missed the Chex Mix.

    My right sinus (below the eye) sympathizes with Snotstock. However, it doesn’t rise to the level of Therapy Cat.

    Greetings to royalty Ana Sofia and dapper Brother Wind.

  5. I miss the “this is good” button. And I do love how confused the McDonalds people are by plain coffee. “I’d like a black coffee.” “Cream, sugar, flavor?” “No, hence the color of the beverage being black.” “huh?”

  6. But, but… Summer colds ARE the worst. You have no reprieve from the awful sticky body feelings! I’d much rather be plagued with a cold in the winter, when I have every reason to be in love with a hot bowl of soup and bundled/holed up in my apartment away from the annoyances of other people.

    I love Love Actually, but I don’t think I’ve ever watched the commentary. I might have to next time I pop in the DVD.

    I hope you’re feeling better! ❤

  7. We had a cat named Rusty who would walk into a room and in a few minutes, you’d see his tail swish back and forth a few times, then he’d leave. Only the gas he just passed would slink acrosss the room and pounce on your olfactory inputs about ten minutes later. Worse than mustard gas. Figure that he coldn’t do any worse if we fed him Hormel chili.

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