Thursday Night Mental Chex Mix

  • Little brother, I'm happy to report, has survived his grueling back surgery.
  • My parents, I'm happy to report, have survived their grueling three week stay with little brother.
  • If I were to set the rules for time travel, I would not allow a specific date or event to be set.  I'd tie it to the radio.
  • And I'd make it arbitrary, so you never knew when it was going to happen. 
  • Example, I'd be driving home from work.  My back is sore, and my brain hurts after a long day.  My fuel light comes on, and I dread having to fill up the USS Nimitz.  I'm worried about my brother's back, the sparseness of my vault at Gringott's, and I wish I had enough extra money to replace my back-right tire.  Suddenly, Rush's "Spirit of the Radio" plays. 
  • Yay! I've always liked that song.
  • So I'm driving, then POUF! The fabric of Time rips a little, and I'm suddenly 18, driving my Datsun B-210 on a windy South Carolina road. 
  • Sounds great, right? Holy crap, I'm 18! Gas is 98 cents a gallon! I have a metabolism! A panacea!
  • But I'm thrust into the worries of my 18 year-old mind.  I just got a 39 on a Calculus test.  Beth the Swedish Girl won't talk to me. I have to write a paper for my Freshman Comp class, and I don't have a topic.  (My highly developed powers of bullshit are in their nascent stages).  I also have to write a paper for my friend Ben's friend's English class, in exchange for a small bag of certain herbal substances.  I'm homesick–I miss my friends, my old school, the absolute Manifest Destiny I felt six months ago in high school–and SHIT, it's cold, and I'll probably die a virgin.
  • There are no panaceas in our timelines.  At every point in life, we have our burdens and pains in the ass. 
  • We also have our wonderful times–those precious memories that comfort us and bring smiles to our faces. 
  • At this point, I'd love to go back and have my 18 year-old troubles.  Lord knows I could bang out my Freshman Comp paper in a painless hour, and I'd charge cash to write my friend's friend's paper (or I'd use the bag of herbal substances on Beth in an attempt to lose the aforelamented virginity (it was a couple weeks later, alcohol, with Jennifer, in a Jeep, as it happened 😉 )) 
  • When I was 18, if you'd transported me to this moment, I'd be amazed at the computer I'm using.  My DorkFone 9500 Turbo XLT would totally freak me out, and I'd think the USS Nimitz was unbelievably cool. 
  • I guess the key is perspective, trying to acknowledge the gorgeous moments of WIN that counterbalance the drudgery and abrasive beatings.
  • Happy Thursday (from 2010)

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9 Responses to “Thursday Night Mental Chex Mix”

  1. Lol!Good stuff, tom!Such a balance of hilarious and bittersweet….just like life! Hooray for all of it! 🙂

  2. By the way, I am SO glad brother and parents are doing well!!! So glad his surgery is over!

  3. I'm glad your bro is doing well.
    So… with this time machine, are you 18 and remembering that you've time travelled, or are you just back there as you were? Because that would suck ass sometimes… which I guess is exactly as it should be. Damnit.

  4. Good that brother and parents survived!!

  5. When I was 18 all I could think about was getting out of high school so I could kiss my hometown goodbye and never look back. (And look where I am today, lol!) Maybe I would want to go back if I could have that skinny, agile, pain-free body but with the experience and knowledge I have now. I'd be so devious, I'd frighten my parents.

  6. I had the same thought, and I've spent the last 21 years living 50 miles from my hometown. NYC? Pah. lol
    Ma and Pa are spending a few nights with friends on the North Carolina Outer Banks. Believe me, they deserve it.
    My Rays were in Oakland, and I see from the box score that it was 60 F at gametime. I'm sooooooooooooooo jealous.

  7. I say, weather-wise, neener neener. (Oaktown being the closest ballpark to Chez LT)Good to hear that bro and parents have both survived the ordeal.

  8. I think you'd be 18 and aware you've time travelled. The idea is that you realize that life wasn't all peach melba with fried egg back then, and that you had problems and worries. Different ones, of course, but it wasn't all just running around being young and pain-free and thin.

  9. I'm not sure what I would do differently. If I made any wholesale changes, I wouldn't be where I am today. Yes, I could be an orthopedic surgeon with a perfect life, but I could also live in a dumpster. Or be dead.
    I'm sure there's no 100% awesome time in life. There are always dreads and worries. I guess the key is to acc-cen-tuate the positive, as the song goes.
    Have a great weekend, Freedom.

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