Words, Glorious Words

I've known my entire life that I'm just not quite like the other kids in the proverbial class.  Other than being Hagridian in stature, of course, and being utterly clueless in interpersonal relationships.  The language has always fascinated me.  I like words, but sometimes I find myself using words that cause people to look at me askance.

Herewith, a partial list of confuzzling words and phrases I use:

  • Askance: (adj) with skepticism or disapproval, "I find myself using words that cause people to look at me askance."
  • Confuzzling: (adj) confusing and puzzling, "To me, women are inherently confuzzling."
  • Hagridian: (adj) unusually large, half-Giant, "Not only is Tom Hagridian, his head is the size of Neptune."
  • Recalcitrant (adj) stubborn, "Ana-Sofia Vargas was recalcitrant in her refusal to obey."
  • Peripatetic (adj) prone to wandering, "I couldn't farm, because (the supervisor) was all peripatetic and shit."
  • Shitfuck (interjection), Gosh.
  • Sugarbooger (noun), darling, honey, "I need a hug, sugarbooger."
  • Head full of puddin (noun), serious lack of common sense or intelligence, "Jeez, that woman marrying Larry King must have a head full of puddin."
  • Unconscionable (adj), lacking in conscience, "Neglecting to brush HRH Ana-Sofia Vargas would be unconscionable"
  • Coรฑo (interjection), Well….this one I picked up from a friend who got it from some Puerto Rican friends.  In this context, it means "damn" or thereabouts.  However, in other Latin American countries, it's synonymous with a rude term for the female genitals. Yikes.
  • Amenable (adj): disposed or willing to comply, "After I said "Me cago en el coรฑo de tu madre," the Latin gang member was amenable to cutting out my pancreas. 
  • Not your/my/his/her/their first rodeo, syn for "I know what I'm doing, dumbass."
  • Not even the sharpest SPOON in the drawer, "Is stupid."
  • Balls! (interj), "RUBBISH!"
  • Nardsack (noun), a place where men carry "RUBBISH!"
  • Bereft, (adj), deprived of, "The dying plant was bereft of water."
  • Oh, hell's bells Orv (I had a boss who used to say this, and somehow I picked it up) "Oh, hell's bells, Orv, that's an ugly-ass dress."
  • Obfuscate, (verb) to muddle, "Your language is bereft of clarity, thus obfuscating your point."
  • Precisely (adv) exactly.  "So, you're saying there's never too much gravy on the country-fried steak?" "Precisely!"
  • Chubbalicious (adv) womanly, "_____ isn't one of those pipe cleaners–she's chubbalicious."
  • Fucktard (noun), Idiot, "That fucktard brought my chubbalicious girlfriend mashed potatoes bereft of gravy!"
  • Megalonmaniacal (adv), afflicted with delusions of grandeur, "What a megalomaniacal fucktard that Napoleon was."
  • RUBBISH! (interj), "Balls!"
  • That's comedy (Another one my former boss used to say)
  • Reduviidae (noun) the family of true bugs
  • Punkin, (noun) syn for Stacey, ie "Hey, Punkin. Wanna grab dinner Sunday?"
  • Sugarplum, (noun) beloved one, "Don't worry about a sitter, Punkin.  You can bring the sugarplums too."
  • Spectacular (adj) awesome, "You want to? That's spectacular!"
  • Y'all (noun), you (singular or plural), "Y'all know what a dodecahedron is?"
  • Dodecahedron (noun) a polygon, "In geometry, the rhombic dodecahedron is a convex polyhedron with 12 rhombic faces. It is an Archimedean dual solid, or a Catalan solid. Its dual is the cuboctahedron.  What are y'all, stupid? "

I'm sure there are more words and phrases I abuse.  Feel free to add any of these to your own jargon, or leave any of your personal favorites in Comments.  I leave you with two odd sentences involving beer:

From The Daily Mail (UK): "The Duchess of Cornwall cracked a bottle of beer–brewed by the sub's crew–on her prow to officially name the "boat," in Navy jargon before she was gingerly wheeled out of her shed at the stately speed of one meter per minute."  O_o

And from a Salon.com story about city workers who took 500 cases of expired beer from a Columbia, MO, landfill: "City officials say they still don't know what happened to the beer."  Um…DUH?

Have a great weekend!

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22 Responses to “Words, Glorious Words”

  1. Most of my improperly used and/or abused words end in 'hoj.'HAhoj!

  2. Pretty much knew those words, but it's a pleasure to read 'em anyway.Why is the Duchess being wheeled at a meter per minute? I daresay she would move faster on her own.

  3. Indeedhoj! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  4. Well, you try and move faster than a meter per minute after cracking yourself on the prow with a bottle. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  5. Askance: (adj) with skepticism or disapproval,: I used this word the other day in a post and someone said they loved the sound of the word :-)Y'all (noun), you (singular or plural): Of course, being southern, I use this expression. Some of us southerners look askance at using the work y'all in a singular form :-)Chubbalicious (adv) womanly: I would be bereft at being called "chubbalicious," as is has connotations of being "fluffy"* or overweight.Shitfuck, sugarbooger, nardsack, balls: terms usually used by malesPunkin and sugarplum are spectacular words! They are affectionate names we use for loved ones.I found your list riveting and insightful! Thanks for sharing some of your unique vocabulary with us. Wouldn't you like to see a parents face if their child came home from school with some of those words on their vocabulary list!Here are a few of my personal favorites: – 'Wall paper problems', (noun), insignificant worries, "Muffy was consumed by her 'wall paper problems,' while I had to grapple with how I would pay my electric bill this month."-phone rage, (noun), feelings of violence towards the phone when it rings, "When the phone rang for the tenth time while I was trying to homeschool the children, I felt the phone rage building. If I could have, I would have blown the ringing phone to smithereens* with a few shots from my sons rifle."*-fluffy (adj)- a polite word that means referring to one that has gained weight, usually used in reference to the female gender, who have put on a few pounds, "My thyroid is not functioning properly and has caused me to become fluffy around my mid-section." *-smithereens, (verb), to smash or break, (see sentence above about phone rage for an example).

  6. I would like to offer:
    churlish – bad form. I didn't interrupt his story, it would have been churlish of me.
    furry – used for added emphasis to almost anything, not necessarily animal related. "There's no furry way I'm going out in that rainstorm"
    snackage – non-specific collective term for snacks. "He brought some awesome snackage on our road trip."
    I would also like to ask, where exactly is the prow on a Duchess?

  7. If only more people had a vocabulary as big as yours. In my parents' neighborhood, it seems as if the only adjectives people here know are the usual four-letter epithets. But their repeated use has worn out the intended effect, to shock or to show street smarts, though unfortunately, there ain't any. The kids around here end up in jail so quickly you'd think that's why they went to school. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

  8. where exactly is the prow on a Duchess?
    Next to her nardsack. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  9. I'd just about believe the current Duchess of Cornwall has one.

  10. Yeah, see, I think of her in more equine rather than nautical terms. But Tom's right, anyone would slow down when they'd been beer-prowed.I've had phone rage a few times. Once it literally drove me to scream.

  11. I apologize, Laurie. My previous comment was churlish.
    I shall use furry. It sounds similar in use to the British "bloody." Snackage reminds me of "doobage" from my college daze (sic). E.G., "Jenny brought over some great doobage, after which we called Noble Roman's to have large snackage delivered."

  12. I'd just about believe the current Duchess of Cornwall has one.
    Now that's comedy.

  13. I remember "doobage" only from The Breakfast Club. But I think I got "snackage" after hearing someone say "doggage" in describing canines. As in, that family has some great doggage in that black Lab." I have since used "doggage" a lot, too.

  14. Now that's comedy.
    A cartoon-writing friend of mine says that a lot, but only about his own quips (and often not-that-funny ones). I think it's far better applied (as you do) when said in appreciation of someone else's.
    And thank you.

  15. You're welcome. However, what churlish Tom considers comedy, the Duchess of Cornwall would consider treasonous.

  16. I like "fluffy" as a euphemism for chubbiness. My mom actually had a little cartoon on the fridge with the caption, "I'm not fat. I'm fluffy."
    Chubbalicious came from conversations with a friend of mine. We were in a bar, consuming adult beverages, and there was a hostess who was chubby and very cute. We both acknowledged that we prefer larger women, and one of us (okay, it was me) coined the term "chubbalicious." These days, I neither frequent bars nor imbibe in adult beverages, but my love of chubbalicious girls remains ever strong.
    And "wallpaper problems" is brilliant. My initial reaction was of computer wallpaper, which is even less substantial than actual wall wallpaper.
    Happy Weekend, Freedom!

  17. Typically, we used "that's comedy" to describe something that was funny, but not LOL funny. We worked around some very funny people, and actual laughter wasn't always easy. Also, we used it sarcastically when somebody tried for a joke and failed. "Ahhh. That's COMEDY!"
    We were dicks, but we had fun. ๐Ÿ™‚

  18. By the way, I love that you have "A cartoon-writing friend." Far too few of us can say that.

  19. Great story about "chubbalicious!" I bet the waitress would have loved to know that you two thought she was cute, or perhaps pretty. (As an aside about the cute) I take exception when I am called cute. As a petite woman, it is not unusual for people to use the adjective "cute," where I am concerned. I say, in a joking way, "Dogs and children are cute, woman are….pretty, beautiful, sexy…..etc." I try to get my point across without causing offense :-)I am going to enjoy some of the new words that you all have mentioned today!

  20. I was just talking to a large friend-girl of mine about how disparately acceptable metaphors are. Specifically, it's cute and acceptable to refer to a petite flower of a woman as "Fun Size," as in the tiny candy bars, but God help you if you refer to a plus-size woman as "Economy Size." ๐Ÿ˜‰

  21. LOLOL!!!!! You are so right!!! Good one ๐Ÿ™‚ Yes, "fun size" sounds like something that would be ordered of the child's menu…….not a name I would want to be called!!

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