Pre-emptive Meme

(This thing is going around Facebook like chlamydia in a Freshman dorm, so I'm answering it before anyone tags me.  Tag yourself if you like.  64 Questions, with no prize for the right answers…)

1. First thing you wash in the shower? Left forearm

2. What color is your favorite hoodie? This girl at work wears a green one I like. That's probably my favorite, although I don't wear them.

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Sure, but she might slap me again too.

4. Do you plan outfits? No. What if I die in my sleep? I've just wasted all that effort.

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now? Fine. No, wait. Okay, fine again.

6. What’s the closest thing to you that's red? My tired bloodshot eyes.

7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having? It involved travel and relatives.

8. Did you meet anybody new today? No.  Everyone was at least 24 years old.

9. What are you craving right now? A nice root beer float would be nice.

10. Do you floss? Occasionally. It's easier to floss your teeth after they fall out, though.

11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage? "Why the fuck is this person saying `cabbage'?"

12. Are you emotional? Not so much, no.  Except when I'm hysterical or angry.

13. Have you ever counted to 1,000? Not by ones. I mean, I've counted out ten hundreds before, so technically yes. I've never sat around counting from one to 1000 just for shits and giggles though. If I were to do such an inane thing, I'd do it in my "The Count" from Sesame Street voice ("One. Ah. Ah. Ah.") and I haven't done that voice since I quit smoking pot many years ago.

14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it? I start out licking, but if the ice cream likes it rough, I'll bite a little.

15. Do you like your hair? I don't dislike it.

16. Do you like yourself? I don't dislike it.

17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush? Sure, if he bought and promised to drink.
I bet the guy has some great stories from college. I just didn't want him running the country.

18. What are you listening to right now? The dulcet, insistent tones of Ana-Sofia Vargas singing at the wall.

19. Are your parents strict? Not since I turned 30.

20. Would you go sky-diving? I wouldn't go up in the plane to begin with, much less jump out of it.

21. Do you like cottage cheese? I like cottages and I like cheese. Not cottage cheese.

22. Have you ever met a celebrity? Yes. Lots of them.

23. Do you rent movies often? A few times a month.

24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in? Yeah, my sequined ball gown collection. No, there's nothing sparkly in my room.  What am I, a freakin' magpie?

25. How many countries have you visited? Only this one. If the other countries were closer to me, I might visit.

26. Have you made a prank phone call? Nope

27. Ever been on a train? The Beck's Bier Mardi Gras Express, on the Amtrak "Sunset Limited."

28. Brown or white eggs? I don't practice ovadiscrimination

29. Do you have a cell phone? No, I have a tin can with a string coming out its ass-end.

30. Do you use chapstick? When my lips are chapped, yes.

31. Do you own a gun? No, which is good because I'm less than half way through this thing, and I'm ready to pop a hollow-point in my brain pan.

32. Can you use chopsticks? I can play "Chopsticks," and I can eat with a fork.

33. Who are you going to be with tonight? I'm due for another X-Files dream, so who knows?

34. Are you too forgiving? Becoming less so with every question

35. Ever been in love? Yes.

36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow? Hopefully not answering these questions.

37. Ever have cream puffs? No. I couldn't get the chopsticks to work.

38. Last time you cried? Last century some time, probably over spilled milk.  Next time, probably in another 10 questions or so.

39. What was the last question you asked? "Do I own a cell phone? Really? What is this, 1990?"

40. Favorite time of the year? 10:38 PM

41. Do you have any tattoos? I have a lovely image of Salma Hayek tattooed on my pancreas in radiofluorescent dye. It only shows up on X-rays, but it's awesome.

42. Are you sarcastic? Never.

43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect? No.  The Moth Influence yes, but not The Butterfly Effect

44. Ever walked into a wall? Walked, driven, listened to, you name it

45. Favorite color? Green

46. Have you ever slapped someone? No.

47. Is your hair curly? Some of it

48. What was the last CD you bought? It was a good one, back in 1984: 10.3% for a three year.

49. Do looks matter? Well, I don't have Ernest fucking Borgnine tattooed on my pancreas, so you do the math.

50. Is your phone bill sky high? No. It's on the counter next to the electric bill.

51. Do you like your life right now? Less so than I did twenty questions ago. Yes. Life is great.

52. Do you sleep with the TV on? Nope

53. Can you handle the truth? "She had nothing left to say, so she said she loved me; and I stood there, grateful for the lie." (Gin Blossoms)

54. Do you have good vision? When wearing my glasses.

55. Do you hate or dislike more than three people? Why three? Is three the metric for being hateful (or dislikeful?) ?

56. How often do you talk on the phone? All day at work, and rarely after.

57. Are you addicted to Facebook? No. I like that I can catch up with old friends, but that's about it.

58. What are you wearing? An armored breast-plate, neoprene suit, boots, utility belt, and a cowl. (I'm wearing shorts and a t-shirt)

59. What is your favorite animal? The zooplankton (zooplankton ask no questions)

60. Where was your profile picture taken at? The Hubble took it, I believe

61. Can you hula hoop? I could when I was five and had a waist.

62. Do you have a job? Yes

63. What was the most recent thing you bought? A Diet Mountain Dew

64. Have you ever crawled through a window? Yes.

All that, and we end with "Have you ever crawled through a window?" Sheesh.

Happy Monday. 🙂

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4 Responses to “Pre-emptive Meme”

  1. Laughed my way through all of these. ❤ you! Haha.

  2. Lol. Loved this, up until the point where you said it was only half way through. Then the full enormity of the horror of thirty more witty replies crashed down on me, and I couldn't take any more. Not at six am. Not until I've had coffee, at least.

  3. Comedy can be ugly, hon, especially the bad kind written while I was half asleep. Have a great day, and I hope you get your coffee. 🙂

  4. AHHAHA I love No. 3!!!

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