Wednesday Mental Chex Mix

Various things clogging my synapses here in the middle of the night…

  • Things I never thought I'd say: "Gosh, I was really impressed with Nicole Richie's acting."  She guest-starred on this week's "Chuck," playing an evil bitch who ended up battling with the hot CIA girl in a high school shower.  Lots of karate and drenched female violence.  Ms Richie was really very good.  Surprisingly.
  • Speaking of TV, for some odd reason, an alarming number of my favorite American TV characters are played by British and Australian actors: the hot CIA girl on "Chuck?" Yvonne Strahovski from New South Wales, Australia.  The crazy doctor on "Fringe?" John Noble from Port Pirie, South Australia.  The hot FBI agent on "Fringe"? Anna Torv, from Melbourne, Victoria, Australia.  The titular character on "House?" Oxford's own Hugh Laurie.  (I don't count Dr Chase, whose character is supposed to be Australian).  The FBI Agent Jack Malone on "Without a Trace?" The pride of Adelaide, South Australia. Even the lovable stalkeress, Rose on "Two and a Half Men" is from New Plymouth, New Zealand. 
  • Is there an actor shortage in America? Are we out of actors?
  • Perhaps we should begin offshore drilling for actors, just to ease our reliance on imported actors.
  • Well, that's all well and good, but it's not that simple.  First, the ecological damage caused by increased actor drilling could be catastrophic.  For example, Matthew McConaughey was mined in Texas, and shortly after, George W Bush took over the country.
  • Also, it takes time and expense to refine the crude ore into useable actors.  Thus, I say we keep importing foreign actors, as long as we don't resort to war over it. 
  • I would personally like to drill Gillian Anderson, though.
  • Sorry.
  • Ever since I was cajoled into joining Facebook, I've been found by lots of people I haven't thought of in years.  Typically, I get a notification saying, "Jane Smith has added you as a friend on Facebook." I click to confirm, maybe send a sentence of greeting, and that's it.  We're back to not communicating again, but we know where each other is.  I guess that's something, although I'm not especially devout in my Facebookishness.
  • Some folks…well, they take Facebook a little too seriously.  To wit: Wayne Forrester, a 34-year-old British man has confessed that while drunk and high on cocaine, he stabbed his wife Emma to death over an update she made to her Facebook profile. She had changed her status on the social network to "single" after her husband moved out. 
  • My Facebook code number thing is 699103307, although I don't know what that means.
  • Please don't kill me.
  • Gillian Anderson was exported to England as a teen, then reimported.  Just so we're clear.
  • I hope Gillian Anderson neither kills me nor has me killed for what I wrote above.
  • Full disclosure: My friend and U-92 news man Win Allen and I were going to start a band called "Agent Scully's Lips." It seemed like a good idea, notwithstanding that we lacked talent and commitment.
  • Bob Hope was born in England under the name Leslie Townes Hope; his family emigrated to Cleveland
  • Gerald Ford was born in Omaha, Nebraska, as Leslie Lynch King; his family emigrated to Grand Rapids.
  • Both of these Leslies ended up bald, and both set up medical centers in the desert. 
  • Both of these Leslies grew up to be horrible golfers, whose surnames contained four letters. 
  • Even freakier: both Leslies share an equally bald great-great grandfather on their mothers' sides: John McCain.
  • I don't think Senator McCain will be adding me as a friend on Facebook, although I could see him getting angry if somebody lowered his friend-rank on MySpace.  
  • I shouldn't rag on Senator McCain.  He comes from a long line of honorable U.S. Navy men.  In fact, when my forbears arrived here from Spain in 1700, the Senator and his father helped guide our ship into St Augustine harbor.
  • Senator McCain was a member of the final class at the US Naval Academy before the invention of boats.
  • If, God forbid, she ever becomes President, Sarah Palin would be the first Chief Executive ever to have gotten knocked-up on a Zamboni.
  • She would be the first Presidential alumna to graduate from the Barbizon School of Modeling.
  • However, she would NOT be the first sports reporter to handle "the only football that really matters." Ronald Reagan was a sportscaster in his youth.
  • There would be a major conflict, though.  Governor Palin believes the Bible-as-science account that claims the world is only 6000 years old.
  • John McCain has empty Ensure cans older than that.
  • I think it's a bad idea for me to drink lots of Diet Mountain Dew this late at night, as it makes me even goofier than usual.
  • Have a great Wednesday, and remember: two weeks from now, it'll all be over. 

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27 Responses to “Wednesday Mental Chex Mix”

  1. I too would like to make friendly with Gillian Anderson, but when I was a kid I had to mute the begining of Xfiles cause the theme song scared me.

  2. Yeah, I can imagine. That noise is pretty creepy. BTW, you're Australian, Em, thus making you qualified to play an American on a tv show! Let me know when I'll be able to tune you in. šŸ™‚

  3. lol. I still don't know what Facebook is. Perhaps that's good.

  4. XDFacebook has the same awesomeness for me. I talk to about 6 of my 75 friends, at most. Usually I drop a birthday line though.I love your McCain/Palin ramble at the end of your chex mix.

  5. Bob Hope was born in England under the name Leslie Townes Hope; his family emigrated to Cleveland.When Hope was a schoolboy in England, the class roll call was always done last name first. Consequently his teachers always called him "Hope, Leslie."It might explain why he changed his name to Bob.

  6. I'm really uncomfortable with the idea of being able to use the words "knocked up on a zamboni" and "vice-president" in the same sentence without being satirical.Dear God, the election is making the world insane. My husband is taking the 5th off of work so we can get totally smashed while watching the polls come in. And yes, I'm being serious. We are that worked up. And I don't think we're alone in it. (And, for the record, you didn't do this, but I keep seeing people write "the election poles" and I think, "what poles? Are there now poles on which we'll impale the people that vote against our candidate? WHAT ARE ELECTION POLES?")And the fact that I've been told that I look like a young Gillian Anderson may make our friendship awkward for a few seconds………Okay, glad that's over with.

  7. SWEET. I can get totally smashed and watch the results come in too! I have off the 5th. That is such a good idea.Btw, Election "poles?"… Um, oh. my. god.

  8. i used to be very very jealous of gillian anderson for working with one david duchovny, but i've sort of outgrown my crush. i mean, he's sexy and all that, but the sex-addict rehab? ironically – it's a turn-off. go figure.
    i hate the idea of palin as VP, much less as president. *shudder*
    that facebook story is SCARY. who gets that riled up?

  9. WHAT ARE ELECTION POLES? Lech Walesa was the first one post-Communism, if I recall. ;-)BTW, Shushala, do you see what you've done? Now everybody's going to get drunk on the 4th, just because of you. You're such a bad role modelHAHAHAHA. I couldn't write it with a straight face. Mmm. And you do have those big, pale blue Gillian Anderson eyes. ……………….There. That's better. šŸ˜‰

  10. but the sex-addict rehab? ironically – it's a turn-off. go figure. LOL. At least he's not doing coke, drinking, and chasing Tea Leoni around with a meat cleaver because she did tweaked her Facebook status. Sounds like Ms Leoni is probably tired and sore enough without the threat of impending violence.

  11. she might also be tired of paying for all those extra tennis lessons mr duchovny seems to enjoy. šŸ™‚

  12. If you didn't get a chance to see Criminal Minds last night, be sure to catch it online – it was a nice and creepy one (at least for the first half).

  13. all those extra tennis lessons mr duchovny seems to enjoy. True dat: and it explains his preoccupation with following his fuzzy balls around manicured California lawns. I won't comment on the attendant irony that his current hit show is called "Californication."

  14. I won't comment on the attendant irony that his current hit show is called "Californication."
    And here I thought that he was just a fan of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. šŸ™‚

  15. Rachel Griffiths on Brothers & Sisters is also Australian. That is a weird trend.
    I would also like to have sex with Gillian Anderson. She just had a baby; she has three kids now. Her two sons are named Felix and Oscar. When someone pointed out that those are the names of the characters from The Odd Couple, she had no idea what that was. I never watched the show (or saw the movie) but I know what it is and I got the (unintentional) reference right away.
    I actually like Californication, but it's no Weeds.

  16. Dang! I was up! I should have written back right away! (But first I have to go stalk you on Facebook… it's like VOX for people with really short attention spans)

  17. You missed my favorite Brit-as-an-American, Anna Friel who plays Chuck on Pushing Daisies.
    Also, Gillian Anderson plays a Brit in the absolutely phenomenal Bleak House, if you don't mind watching a nearly eight-hour British miniseries based on the Dickens novel.

  18. I loved her on "Six Feet Under," and it freaked me out that she was Australian. Didn't see that coming. RE: Ms Anderson, you have great taste in women, even if they don't know their Neil Simon.

  19. You're right, of course. She's with David Thewlis, who plays Professor Lupin in the Harry Potter films. Another one I forgot is one of the ones who inspired the list: Jonny Lee Miller, the titular character in "Eli Stone." He's as American sounding as can be, yet he's from Surrey.

  20. That's funny about Facebook. "Hmm, I wonder what I should write abou–OH! A new piece of flair!" And if it's you that will stalk me on Facebook, that's okay I guess. Just please, no cutlery. And NO. More. Wire. HANGERS!Sorry. šŸ˜‰

  21. i missed chuck on monday night cuz i was too sick to care about anything… awesome mccain jokes, dude. hehe. i was cracking up. šŸ˜€

  22. Yes, Mommie dearesooooh! Bumper sticker!!!

  23. Just cuz I love you, Grrrace: click here. (I promise it's not a bug!)Hope you're feeling better.

  24. aw, thanks šŸ™‚ i'll need to watch that šŸ™‚

  25. Re the Antipodean actors, do you know if the guy on the Mentalist is Australia? He looks really familar for some reason.
    I did a post previously on Rose from Two and a Half Men. She was in a fantastic NZ movie when she was a teenager (can't remember the title of course but will try and forward post to you). Really worth catching if you haven't seen.

  26. The Mentalist guy is Simon Baker, who hails from Tasmania. Rose (Melanie Lynskey) was spectacular in "Heavenly Creatures," which I've seen a couple times. AWESOME FILM! I think it was Kate Winslett in there, too, and it was directed by Peter Jackson. Rose is the polar opposite of the nutball teen she played in HC.

  27. I thought he looked familiar. We were really confused when we turned that show on as we assumed it was Australian after seeing him and then heard everyone speaking in American accents.
    Yes, Heavenly Creatures is the one I was thinking of. there was a real rash of great NZ films around that time.

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