Monday Night Mental Chex Mix

  • I went in and worked 4 hours of overtime Monday night, just for giggles and time-and-a-half.  Ann Marie, my partner in mayhem, told me she reserved Monday night for catching up on my Vox.  Instead, tonight, she had me there.
  • That's good, because I hadn't written my usual Sunday night Mental Chex mix.
  • I mention this only because Ann Marie had a giant bag of actual Chex Mix in her drawer.  It's not bad, as prepackaged snack food goes (I'd never give up Sun Chips for it), but my mom used to make the most spectacular Chex mix in the world.  I don't remember her recipe, but in the soft-focus ideation of my memory, it involved gravy.
  • Gravy makes things better.  Roast pork egg foo yung without gravy is just a bland omelet with lots of crap in it, sort of like one of those infernal Christmas fruitcakes.
  • As that orangeish gravy redeems egg foo yung, dumping lots of brandy on a fruitcake makes it palatable.
  • Unlike brandy, egg foo yung gravy is not flammable. 
  • Speaking of Ann Marie's Chex Mix in her drawer, my drawers please me, for that is where I keep my squishy magnetic Canadian beaver:

  • Having a squishy beaver on my drawer is just freakin' comedy carte blanche.  Apparently, some people use the word "beaver" in a biometaphorical connotation.
  • That said, I've never seen one of the metaphorical beavers with flat tails.  (fur and teeth…well, I won't go there)
  • The cleaning person had a horrible squeaking wheel on her garbage can.  I swear, you could hear that damn thing for a quarter mile.  It was horrible: loud as hell and high-pitched, like chalk on Satan's blackboard. 
  • We had a fire alarm at work.  The fire alarm wasn't as loud as that damn squeaking wheel. 
  • I made time and a half for sitting outside during the fire alarm incident.  This makes it 50% more profitable than a fire alarm would've been Sunday. 
  • I should figure out a way to cause the fire alarm to go off more often. 
  • Not really.
  • Ana-Sofia Vargas and Wind are getting along quite well, although I fear Srta Vargas sends mixed messages.  The other night, she came up to Wind, sniffed his face, licked him briefly, then bitch-slapped him before sauntering out of the room.  She doesn't saunter, except to make a point.  Wind looked up at me, and I swear he rolled his eyes.
  • They do get along, though.

  • The above picture was taken while I was online.  Wind was passed out on his back, and Ana-Sofia Vargas was curled up on my pillow.  When I turned the camera light on to take the picture, she glared at me.  Wind didn't move.
  • Pound for pound, Chex Mix is less expensive than Purina ONE cat fuel.  Less nutritious and tasty as well.
  • Ana-Sofia Vargas has always been a fan of Meow Mix Brand Cat Fuel.  Wind enjoys Meow Mix Brand Cat Fuel as well, but holy Bast, something in it makes him fart more than my little brother, both in volume and noxiousness.  That's saying something.
  • I've lived in the same apartment for ten years now.  In nine or ten hours, I'll sign a lease for an eleventh.  I like it.  It's a good size, close to everything I need–work, stores, etc–but mainly, I love living on the shore of Lake Tom.  There's something awesome about my little lake, about the birds and the otter, the various fishes, even the "Beware of Alligators" sign.  I love watching the ebb and flow of the water level as we go through the seasons.  I see the ebb and flow of life, too.  The ducks and moorhens mate and raise their young.  Various herons, egrets, and ibises patrol the shores, looking for food.  Every now and then, an osprey or a pelican swoop down and grab a fish, perhaps one of the tilapia who nest along my shore.  
  • I've seen lots of people come and go as well.  Couples shacked up here.  The woman downstairs had her boyfriend move out 3 years ago.  Colette and Ryan got married then moved away.  I fell in love with Lt Catherine, USCG, from downstairs, then she got transferred to Michigan.  I was in such a bad state that I wouldn't have been good for her anyway, although she was here when Chynna across the hall killed herself.  That was sad to me, especially since it pointed out the stupidity of the behavior I was exhibiting myself.  It still took a few years before I stopped.
  • I nearly died a couple times here, once because of my chronic stupidity, once from a disease only 6000 people worldwide have had since 1990. 
  • Ironically, I spent a month in the hospital being treated for each of them.
  • The nutbin (sorry, "rehab") had MUCH better food and Ativan, although the other hospital gave me narcotics.
  • Narcotic pain meds are far more entertaining when you don't need them to relieve pain.  I had an IV drip of Dilaudid, for cripes sakes, and I didn't even enjoy Dark Side of the Moon. 
  • I was never happier in my life than the day I finally climbed back up my stairs to this apartment eight months ago.  I couldn't stand for very long, but I kept going out on my balcony, leaning against the ledge, looking out over Lake Tom.  I remember it rained, as it's doing now.  The salt marsh between here and Tampa Bay will reek with fecundity tomorrow, but it's relaxing and peaceful tonight.
  • Perhaps the most soothing, relaxing sound I know is rain falling on my lake.
  • Too bad that damn squeaky garbage can wheel destroyed my hearing.
  • Have a great week!

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13 Responses to “Monday Night Mental Chex Mix”

  1. LOVE LOVE LOVE your mental chez mix. I cant believe its only 9 months since you walked back up those stairs…that means it had only only been 4 months ish when we began to be friends and chat. I miss that, I used to love staying up and listening to your show and tryinng to distract you on air! xxx

  2. This woman loves her beaver

  3. I know. I remember we first became friends when I was in Kindred. I don't know whether the Welsh have Chex mix, although I imagine the English might make a pudding out of it, or the Scots, haggis. Your distraction, btw, made for better radio–how else would my listeners ever hear me say hi to Sylvie in a small UK village? Or her mum. 😉

  4. This is quite the mix indeed and I quite like it. And not just because of the beaver. 😛

  5. Most girls don't like seeing pictures of their beavers on the Interweb for some reason.See?? It's the comedic gift that keeps on giving. 😉

  6. That is quite possibly the funniest thing I've seen in weeks. Perfect. Thanks for sending it. Now if only we can get American tv stations to show it, we'd be fine. 😉

  7. Most girls don't like seeing pictures of their beavers on the Interweb for some reason.
    and yet I'm still single – go figure…

  8. I don't know why, Arbed. It's a cute little beaver. 😉

  9. love your weekly chex mix. 🙂

  10. you guys just made my morning

  11. you guys just made my morningIt probably had nothing to do with my panegyric to gravy, either. 😉

  12. And here's me just giving it away, too.

  13. mmm chex mix, sounds yummy. chex mix on top of a bagel.heh :)do we only talk about food? lol or was i talking about food….hmmmmmhave a good day!

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