Yet Another Way to Die in Paradise: A continuing series (for Kelly)

Woman finds gator in kitchen
 It wanted some dinner — specifically a pet cat, authorities say.

 By Eileen Schulte

  The whole thing apparently start­ed when Poe the cat was prowling outside and the big alligator followed it home.
  When Poe slipped onto the back porch Monday night, the 220-pound gator came along, crashing through a screen and passing a potted ficus tree and litter box.
  Tailing Poe, the 8-foot, 8-inch rep­tile crawled over the blue indoor/ outdoor carpeting, through an open sliding glass door and past the green suede sofa in the living room.
  Poe ended up someplace safe. The gator ended up in Sandra Frosti’s kitchen. After hearing strange noises about 10:30 p.m., Frosti, 69, discov­ered the gator and called 911.
  When deputies arrived, they called trapper Charles Carpenter.
  Carpenter put a rope around the
gator’s neck. It hissed. Then he tried to throw a blanket over its head. It lunged and thrashed.
  “The interest­ing part was try­ing to get him out without destroy­ing” the condo, said Carpenter. “He did make a dent in the wall with his head.’’
  The gator like­ly emerged from one of the many ponds, lakes and creeks in Eastlake Woodlands, where they are a common sight. Neighbor Fred Egre, 78, said he’s seen gators that, jaws wide, seem to expect people to give them food.
  When gators end up in swimming pools, lift stations and in the middle
of roads this time of year, people often say it’s because it’s mating season.
  But when a reporter asked wildlife commission spokesman Gary Morse if the home invader sneaked into Frosti’s condo because it was crazed by reptilian lust, he sighed.
  “I don’t think a gator wants to mate with a cat. Let’s be clear on that,’’ he said.
  This gator, he said, was simply not afraid of humans.
  “If you’ve got an alligator going into a house, you’ve got a problem.”
  After the capture, Frosti found dirt and blood on the kitchen floor, blood spattered on the wall and a claw mark on the hallway wall. Thank­fully, all the blood appeared to have come from the gator, which was hurt by a broken plate that fell during the struggle.
  “The house was a mess,” she said. “It did a good amount of damage in the kitchen.”
Research: Caryn Baird

I've never had an actual alligator come into my home.  When I was a kid, there was a snake once in my bathroom.  I've encountered several raccoons outside my apartment, and they've climbed on my truck in the night (it was either raccoons, or little tiny gnomes with dirty hands).  I've been stung by bees and wasps, and I got nailed by an assassin bug.

I've seen bobcats, and I had a Cottonmouth slither over my foot.  I watched an alligator kill an egret, but I've never had one show up in my kitchen. 

After the year I've had, though, nothing would surprise me.  I just hope it doesn't eat my ice cream.   (or Ana-Sofia, of course)

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16 Responses to “Yet Another Way to Die in Paradise: A continuing series (for Kelly)”

  1. Maybe the purging's not done after all…
    (Seriously. WHY? I hate their creepy smiles and their hissing and how the article had to mention the hissing.)

  2. Sorry. I just wanted to keep you updated. This is why I live on the second floor–I don't think they do stairs very well.

  3. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ASSASSIN BUG THING?! UGH!!!! major reason why i could never move back to the east coast? BUGS. yes, we've got bugs here, but not nearly as many as back east… i think i would die if i saw a gator in my kitchen. eep. scary.

  4. When I worked for mosquito control, we had a resident whose house was infested with conenosed assassin bugs. He was anemic. I wonder why. They can be nasty little blighters, but that is a pretty picture. 😉

  5. sure. pretty. if that's what you wanna call it. *shudder*what's the purple around it?

  6. Eryngo, a grasslands plant. This pic was actually taken outside Dallas, I think. The conenose assassins we have here aren't quite that colorful, but at least they're not like this one.

  7. you are evil because you know i can't resist clicking on links… and i'm going to regret it… OH, JEEZUS!yes. i clicked on it. why did i click on it?! WHY?! ugh… i am dying over here… thanks. heh.

  8. Teach you to mess with my donut! lolActually, the orange spot assassin bug actually kills and eats those big-ass hissing cockroaches, so it's not all bad. Plus, they only live in Africa, which is pretty far from SoCal, if I'm not mistaken.

  9. We have cougars and bears here in Washington, but none have ever entered my home.I had no idea assassin bugs bit people! But speaking of Reduviidae, I think you would really enjoy this novel, Tom. Similar in style to Hiaasen and Moore. VERY funny stuff.

  10. Kirk, you are the only neighbor in my Vox history to use the phrase, "But speaking of Reduviidae" in a comment. The conenose assassins we had were similar to the "kissing bugs," which just love to steal your blood while you sleep. In parts of the tropics, they are a vector for Chagas disease, not to be confused with Chagall's disease, which involves high fever, nausea, and post-impressionism.

  11. …Plus, no offense, aren't you a bit old to be chased by a cougar? ;-)Thanks for the novel tip.

  12. Because I live in Australia, pretty much all the animals native here can kill you, but one time (when taking my dog out to poop before bed) I trod on a brown snake (They kill a person in 2 minutes). I don't know who was more scared because both the snake and I bolted in different directions. But I never had a croc in my kitchen, that one takes the cake.


  14. Were I wearing a cap, I'd tip it to you for surviving that long in Australia, the country with more deadly creatures than any other place on earth. I don't know what you all did to piss off God so much, but between the Red Backs, the Browns and Tiger Snakes, freaking saltwater crocs, etc, you apparently did. The way Oz goes, I wouldn't turn my back on Maggie either. 😉

  15. You crack me up, RD. You'd probably outrun the alligator, but the assassin bug can fly. 😉

  16. assassin bug can fly. 😉 Ugh. Bugs: bleccccccch!!!!I clicked on that other one, too. It looked like a living tank. Something that might turn up in an Alternate Universe World War II, some battle in the North African campaign — but 6 feet high and snarling………I'm glad that Ana-Sofia is OK, and not playing Jonah to a gator. *waves to Kitten*

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