Quiz: What’s Your Name’s Hidden Meaning

Results for "tom":

You are a bitter underachiever with atrocious fashion sense and an overstated sense of personal worth. 

People don't like you, tom, and they never have: none of your teachers or relatives or so-called "friends." Even your accidental conception was a horrible experience for those involved. 

Your singing voice is an atonal bray, you trumpet when you blow your nose, and being in your presence is like biting tinfoil.   

Your recent infection wasn't caused by bacteria, but by an accumulation of suckiness. 

Your last PC didn't succumb to a hard-drive-eating virus.  It grew weary of your tedious blatherings, then concentrated really hard until it induced multiple sector failure.  Its last sentient thought before you reformatted its hard-drive was that it wished lightning would strike the house, so it could take you out of this world with it.

The real reason the Democratic National Committee banned Florida's delegates wasn't because the state moved up its primary.  They were worried that you might register as a Democrat, and they sure as hell didn't want the specter of your influence ruining the convention.

You are the reason the Beatles broke up.  Because of you, Elvis started eating 20 peanut butter and Demerol sandwiches a day, and Nixon's burglars were only using the Watergate building as a test run before stealing into your house and "disappearing" you. 

FSU gave you a degree just so you'd leave Tallahassee. 

If you were an insect, Venus flytraps would actually regurgitate and starve were you to land in their clutches.

You are why recovering addicts relapse, why tornadoes hit trailer parks, why whales beach themselves, and you make God question His own existence.

Please, in the name of all things holy, don't ever return to blogthings.com.  (We'll just tell you now: your "love number" is i (which is the square-root of negative one, since you were such a colossal failure in Algebra 2), your "time of day" is five minutes after closing, and you don't even qualify for a "color orange.") 

But you have a nice smile, and people really like your cat.

(take the quiz yourself at http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyournameshiddenmeaningquiz/)

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6 Responses to “Quiz: What’s Your Name’s Hidden Meaning”

  1. Awesome! You crack me up.

  2. HAHAHH!!!!!!! Love this!!!I esp like the PC part — and the plea from blogthings, for you not to return!!I coldn't write anything as good, so I'm including what my name got, for ?real? — and what's funny is that both my first name and middle name got the same result. Hah, Blogthings — you're totally busted – there's only oneanswer! Anyway,here it is;

  3. Wow I messed that up, hunh?

  4. Hey, I like peanut butter and Demerol sandwiches.

  5. lolI have a sneaking suspicion Elvis wasn't a drug addict. Like you, he was just practicing the "safari," and making a meal out of what he had in his pantry. Some people have cans of chickpeas. Other's have five-gallon buckets of Class II narcotics. And peanut butter.

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