You’d think I’d have learned by now

The people who are most likely to get nailed for DUI are those who spend an evening in a bar talking about how they've never gotten a DUI, and they never will, because they're too smart. 

The couples most likely to end up accidentally pregnant are the ones who are certain they have the whole rhythm thing down. 

And the person most likely to end up with whooping spattergroit or exploding mung or whatever is going to be me, for joking about NyQuil over the past month. 

At work yesterday, around noon, I started to feel cold.  Typically, I feel warm at work, but it was unusually cool out, so whatever.  Then I started to shiver.  I turned the air up to 85, and cranked the horrible quartz track-lights as high as they could go, trying to warm up.  It didn't happen.  When my shift ended, I went to the store, stocked up on water, Alleve, and?

Yup.  NyQuil gelcaps. 

I came home, crawled into bed, swallowed two gelcaps with half a liter of water, and tried to stop shivering.  I ended up under two heavy blankets.  Nurse Ana Vargas (aka, Kitten, RN) was freaking because she didn't have my right hand to lie on, so I worked out an ingenious system of airlocks that would allow my wrist and hand to be outside my cocoon, without allowing any actual air to invade.  I gradually warmed.  And slept.  And tripped.  lol

There's nothing like fever sleep for strange dreams, and there's nothing like NyQuil sleep for strange dreams.  Combine the two, and I was dreaming a cross between Sin City, Fight Club, and Who Framed Roger Rabbit.  Nice.

I'm feeling better today, for the most part.  I'm about due for another hit (YAY!), so I'll run along.  The greatest homage to NyQuil ever, though, was from Denis Leary.  I present it here for your education.  The language is a bit, um, adult, so don't watch with your young kids in the room (unless you live in South Park, CO).  Gots ta go feed that green monkey.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend


4 Responses to “You’d think I’d have learned by now”

  1. [this is not so good] Can't watch the vid 'til I get home, but let me just wish you a speedy recovery and plenty of NyQuil-induced slumber.The gelcaps rob you of that wonderful anise flavor! Don't you like anise? 😛

  2. On the back of the Nyquil box it says 'may cause drowsiness' . It should say don't make any f*****g plans'.Oh that Denis, he's a character. :)luve that stuff. i don't think it relieves any symptoms, it just knocks you out so you're oblivious to it all. Hope you feel better sooon.

  3. OH!!! I'm so sorry!! You poor baby! Yes, talking abut NyQuil made that happen, absolutely. But gosh I hope you get better FAST!!!!!! Kitten must be distraught!

  4. aww im glad ur feeling better!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: